Have a Ball!

Anyone know if the helicopters circling the isle of Manhattan are useful, or are they just fancy props of the Security Theater Players? Whatever the case, hope everyone has a fun and safe New Year's Eve!

Trend Alert

Afternoon Delight

Here's a sexy slideshow of photos from Island House Afternoons, photographer Jason Rowan love letter to the Island House in Key West starring models Ryan Findlay and Levi Poulter.

Spend New Year's With Mariah

Still no date for tonight? Tickets are on sale HERE for the Mariah Carey New Year's Eve show at Madison Square Garden.

Thursday Ad Watch

My friend Gary tells the most hilarious story about the time he had a breakdown in the family station wagon as a very young boy. When his parents asked him what was wrong he told them that he was "scared" because he was "attracted to Jim Palmer." His dad nearly drove off the road while his mom tried to assure the tyke that it was "completely normal," which, as you can see from this ad, it certainly was understandable if not completely normal.

Terrorist's 'Raging' Hard-On

If THIS doesn't put the nail in the "abstinence-only sex education" programs, I don't know what will. And for someone who professes to be so naive about relationships, I love how he knows that getting married is the key to not being aroused anymore!

At Last ...

Well, it was a long time in the making. But Kyle and Oliver (aka Fish) finally reconsummated their relationship yesterday on "One Life to Live," in a scene that ABC should be really proud of. Not only did they not shy away from anything -- like you hadn't already figured it out, Kyle is SUCH a bottom -- they managed to make it really sexy and romantic. And the post-coital pillow talk was the best, when Fish asks, "Is it always gonna be like this?" to which Kyle replies, "Always." I give it a month before that little homewrecker Nick has one or more of these guys in bed. Watch the love birds in action below.

 

Morning Wood

I definitely would.

There Are 8 Million Stories in the Naked City ...

I apologize for posting this, but as a "New York blogger" I felt like I couldn't hide the less glamourous side of life in the city. If you dare, click HERE for the uncensored version. I honestly thought it was a man receiving head, but have since been told it's a woman "on top." Either way, it was clearly an Express train ...

Meals 'n' Wheels

Not to be outdone by the party of six who pulled up to the Olive Garden on 22nd and 6th in a stretch limo on Saturday night, this fun bunch got their two "complete meals for $6.95" in equally grand "style." Makes me long for the "good old days" in Los Angeles when we'd go to the Sizzler on Highland that had (mandatory) valet parking that cost more than the meals!

Husker Do-Able

My Wildcat friends and family might not appreciate this, but turn on ESPN right now to see Nebraska quarterback Zac Lee in all his glory against Arizona in the Holiday Bowl.

Anhedonia

Thanks, Paul! This is so me -- you should have seen the panic attack I had in Galway years ago in the Irish countryside!

Music Box: Florence and the Machine

As part of a post-layoff cheer-me-up plan, my friend Christopher gave me the deluxe edition of "Lungs," the debut album by Florence and the Machine last month. I've only recently started to listen to it, but I can already tell I'm pretty sold on her Kate Bush by way of the Pipettes brand of pop. The single "Kiss With a Fist" -- the 21st century's answer to "He Hit Me (and It Felt Like a Kiss)" -- will quickly show you why.

 

Homo Box Office

When I first saw a commercial for "Anvil: The Story of Anvil," I was fairly certain it was a really well-made mocumentary, complete with testimonials from members of Anthrax and Metallica about the influence the Canadian rockers had on a generation of heavy metal bands. And then when Steve "Lips" Kudlow and Robb Reiner -- who formed the band when they were 14-year-olds in the 1970s -- appeared onscreen, I was even more convinced. (They made the guys in "This Is Spinal Tap" look like the Osmond Brothers.) But as I watched the story of these old friends -- who work day jobs at catering company in order to support themselves -- struggle to keep their dream of finally "making it," I couldn't believe how powerful and moving this entirely true story was. (Seriously, I teared up -- repeatedly.)

   Regular readers know that I'm a lifelong Woody Allen fan, even if he's given me little to be a fan about lately. (I agree with Matt that there ought to be a word for "someone whose work you once loved beyond all reason and for whom you continue to have fond feelings in spite of a measurable loss of appreciation for their recent creative output.") As such, I didn't even bother going to see Woody's 2009 release, "Whatever Works," putting it on a very short list of Woody films that I deemed not worth seeing on the big screen. (That list includes "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion," "Hollywood Ending" and "Cassandra's Dream," which you may recall completely surprised me -- in a good way -- when I got the DVD.) I was right to wait. "Whatever Works" is not good. Never one to shy away from being derivative of his own work, it's like he took the relationship between Max Van Sydow and Barbara Hershey, threw out everything plausible about it, then told the story a la "Broadway Danny Rose" with a dash of "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" -- oh, all of those minus any of the humor or charm. While it wasn't a bad idea to use Larry David as his stand-in (far more convincing than Kenneth Branagh, John Cusack or Jason Biggs), any good this brought was completely undermined by the ridiculously one-dimensional Evan Rachel Wood character.

  What is remarkable about "Whatever Works," however, and almost makes it worth watching -- I said almost! -- is that it includes Woody's first gay character and features (212) dreamboat Henry Cavill is a fairly big role. (I don't watch "The Tudors," so this was HUGE for me.) The gay storyline isn't big or particularly meaningful, but seeing as Woody has still barely had a black person in one of his films (who wasn't one of Hannah's maids, anyway), it was kind of treat of sorts. (With Woody these days, it's the little things.)

  That I'd gone a dozen years without seeing "The Ice Storm" is something I'm not proud of. (Isn't suburban angst my forte?) But now that I finally watched it last night -- snuggled on the sofa with Larry on my use-it-or-lose it "personal day" from work -- I can hold my head high and say I was not disappointed. (How Sigourney Weaver didn't win an Oscar is beyond me, and can we just admit Christina Ricci is a damn good actress?.) I loved "Swing Town." But the addition of Ang Lee and a far darker tone equals Kenny Movie Heaven.

Since Facebooking about "The Ice Storm," I've been told to check out "Lymelife," a recent indie (that I'd never heard of) described as a coming-of-age dramedy where infidelity, real estate, and Lyme disease have two families falling apart on Long Island in the late '70s. (I'm there!) There's a great cast that includes Alec Baldwin, some Culkin brothers, Timothy Hutton and Cynthia Nixon, although there's a Dr. Ruth joke in the trailer so I'm already concerned about the film's historical accuracy.

 

Morning Wood

The Onion, No Onion?

You be the judge:

New Taco Bell restaurant set to reopen on Stafford Drive in Princeton

By Greg Jordan

Dec. 29--PRINCETON — A new source of tacos and burritos may be opening this week in the heart of Mercer County.

Baring any unforeseen circumstances, a new Taco Bell restaurant could be opening along Stafford Drive in Princeton either today or Wednesday, said Jay Rutherford, president and owner of the Felton Company in Kentucky, which operates the location.

The opening was delayed when a major snowstorm came through southern West Virginia on Dec. 18, but the Taco Bell now has electricity. It is also stocked with supplies.

“We’re just going to open within the next couple of days, either Tuesday or Wednesday,” Rutherford said.

The previous Taco Bell at the Stafford Drive site was torn down to make way for the new restaurant.

“It’s a brand new building with totally new equipment, all new seating. We completely rebuilt the entire building,” Rutherford said. “It’s our latest edition of a Taco Bell building.”

Rutherford explained that his company decided to retain the Taco Bell site rather than move to a new location; it already had a good market.

“It’s a good location. We could have moved into other spots by Wal-Mart or the interstate, but we just felt that by being located in a central area near the hospital, schools, the courthouse area and residential areas, we were concentrating on local people in Princeton and people who come to work in Princeton. It’s a better location than just relying on the interstate location.”

The company has opened similiar Taco Bell restaurants in Beckley and in Marietta, but Princeton’s Taco Bell will have even more updates, he said. Between 35 to 40 people, 80 percent of them full-time, will work at the location.

(Via Bluefield Daily Telegraph, W.Va., really.)

Moore or Less?

Hips don't lie, or do they?

The news that Demi Moore denies that her cover photo was retouched by W magazine is old -- and laughable. (ALL magazine covers are retouched -- a lot. See: "Issue, The September" and that "hag" Sienna Miller, who is half Demi's age.)

But now that the photographer who insists Demi's left hip had been "clumsily removed" from the U.S. cover is claiming vindication because the Korea edition "fixed the hip that Demi, her lawyers, and W insisted wasn't edited," Really? Maybe I let my subscription to Highlights run out too soon, but (other than the darkness of her dress) is there anything different about these two photos? (It doesn't help my confusion that some accounts of the "controversy" say it was Moore's right hip in question.)

And then there's this:

Calendar Boys

James (aka Hunky Santa) and Tyler

Will and Tomas

Lee and Paul 

Harry and Brett 

Kurt and Anthony

James and Tyler

Here's a look back at the 2009 Men of International Jock. Click on the model's names to see their full spreads from earlier in the year and then vote for your favorite in the comments section.

Click HERE to see who my favorites are!

Tuesday Ad Watch

That's cutie Brian Patacca, who famously paraded around shirtless in THIS AD earlier in the year.

Photo Flashback: 1990

Remember when Goldie Hawn was a movie star and Mel Gibson wasn't a punchline?

Robby Ginepri: Oh, Brother!

(Tennis) Stars, They're Just Like Us! They go to their sister's birthday party.

They're All Together Ooky

The heavily promoted Broadway musical adaptation of "The Addams Family," starring Nathan Lane and Bebe Neuwirth, is getting a last-minute makeover:

The New York Times reports:

The feedback from critics, colleagues and friends, Stuart Oken, one of the show's lead producers, said, “is that perhaps we were taking a little too much for granted assuming that the audience walks in with the relationship with the Addams family fully intact, and we didn’t appropriately reconnect the audience to the family members.”

Sounds like a wise move to me. I was a Munsters kid all the way.

'What Is That Smell?'

 

 My sister-in-law already pointed out the facial similarities between Debbie Harry and my mom. Now this "smell" video -- the corollary to my mother's "What's burning?" routine -- has me wondering if Molly was a Sunday Girl all along ...

Morning Wood

Anyone wanna play with Dustin's monkey?

Whore Camp

Because there's nothing a soldier who's been away from his wife for months on end wants more than to be teased.

Baby or Bully?

Sort of a bizarre story from the world of college football. Adam James, a sophomore back-up receiver for Texas Tech and the son of former NFL stud and current ESPN analyst Craig James, has accused coach Mike Leach of making him stand in a shed at the Texas Tech practice facility for two hours, and then repeating the punishment two days later because he felt he was faking a concussion that happened during practice on Dec. 16. The famously blunt Leach -- who once made a crack about his players' "little fat girlfriends" -- was suspended indefinitely Monday, which means he will miss Saturday's Alamo Bowl against Michigan State. Everyone is saying Leach and the elder James' reputations are on the line. Still, nothing that I've read so far sounds any different from what I endured on a daily basis in P.E. at Dobson High.