OK, I'm in the mood for a new asshole -- so let me have it. I have no appreciation for Kevin Spacey the actor -- I can only think of one film of his I've seen, which was nearly 20 years ago ("American Beauty") -- so I'm certainly not defending him as a fan.
I know he's a tiresome closeted queen and all of the negative consequences of that. But given this history, I feel like the attack on his belated coming out is another case of virtue signaling. (Yeah, we GET IT. He shouldn't have hit on a 14-year-old and should have come out sooner. YOU’RE REALLY NOT THAT BRAVE for saying that.) Given the circumstances, he had NO CHOICE but to address his sexuality because the allegation against him essentially outed him. Would it have been better if he'd still denied being gay while acknowledging responsibility for something he admits he probably did?
(My boyfriend PRAISED him for coming out now -- thinking he would dodge the issue again by pretending Anthony Rapp had "misconstrued" something he did. He didn't do that.)
Also, I'm a little concerned with the casual use of the term "pedophile." The high and mighty can call sex -- or in this case attempted sex -- with a 14-year-old pedophilia all they want. But anyone with a brain knows it really means sexual attraction to prepubescent children. The age of consent in many countries around the globe is 14 -- are you ready to call parts of the world "pedophile states"? -- and 14-year-olds can MARRY in the U.S. with parental consent. (So every straight guy who got turned on by Britney Spears's "Hit Me Baby One More Time" is a pedophile too, right?)
What's more, Kevin Spacey is 12 years older than Anthony Rapp, which means he was 25 or 26 when the alleged incident occurred, not 55. (My parents were 17 and 26 when my mom got pregnant with my oldest brother.) From what little I've read, I gather Rapp was at "theater business" party at someone's house. Do we know if Spacey knew how old Rapp was? And where the hell were Rapp's parents/agent/publicist to keep an eye on a CHILD at an adult party? (Spacey is the only one to blame here, but my sister wouldn't let my 14-year-old nephew go to adult parties by himself, so I ask out of concern for a minor.)
As for the notion that he is "conflating" pedophilia with homosexuality, nothing Spacey said does that. The people who choose to conflate the two already think all gays people are pedophiles, so there's not really anything we can do about that.
Spacey obviously made a mistake (and is rumored to have made many others since). But what's the value in piling on when he's tried to accept responsibility?
The debate is really heating up on my Facebook page. To join the conversation, add me
HERE.
UPDATE: I've done little reading on this, but it's come to my attention that some people are actually blaming Anthony Rapp in some way. (I certainly am not and think anyone who does is vile.) But what is the incentive for people to not pull a Trump / trash accusers if they are going to be equally vilified either way? If it turns out he's done something like this -- with a minor -- more than once, then I'll be singing a different tune. But for now it just feels like proportionality is dead.
UPDATE 2: Not surprisingly,
more men have come forward accusing Spacey of inappropriate behavior. The guy's obviously got a problem and like with Rapp, I'm glad people are calling him out. Unlike Rapp, these accusers so far are all of age, which bolsters my original thought that I felt that term "pedophile" was being thrown around loosely. For those who are unable to read or think, I have NEVER defended or tried to minimize anything Spacey did to Rapp. I merely said it seemed counterproductive to trash Spacey for both acknowledging he probably did behave grossly inappropriately with Rapp and for him to -- in a separate paragraph and thought from the apology -- to finally come out of the closet. If you think his coming out when he did was wrong, you're entitled to your opinion. But I vividly remember Billie Jean King being sued for palimony by a former female lover and watched her STILL NOT COME OUT -- instead opting to trash the woman in court, portraying her as a "predatory lesbian" who was trying to destroy King's happy (straight!) home with hubby Larry while Billie Jean was actually already with another woman at the time. This left a very bad taste in my mouth -- King didn't officially come out until 1998 -- so I happen to think it was better for Spacey to get it all out now. You don't have to agree with me.
UPDATE 3: Among the many new people to come forward since Rapp's story broke is
a guy who says he was 14 when he had a "consensual" sexual relationship with Spacey. (He now realizes there's no such thing as a 14-year-old giving consent with an adult.) I still think sexual attraction to 14-year-olds and 4-year-olds is different. But when 14-year-olds are your pattern, you're obviously a very sick man.
