Red Army

Guess who just made a whole new legion of sitcom-loving enemies? (Oops.)

I've got nothing against the guy -- I don't watch "Modern Family" but enjoyed "The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told" -- but did think it was odd that multiple -- OK, five! -- people would bad-mouth him to me out of left field, and it had nothing to do with his spelling. Their principal complaint is that he does the whole act like he's never met you before even after hanging out with you a dozen times with mutual friends, a trait I know everyone hates.

I thought JTF's retweeting this showed he had a sense of humor about the whole thing -- something his fans sorely lack -- but who knows. If what I hear is true, he probably won't even "remember" this happened come tomorrow anyway!

UPDATE: Where would I be without diplomatic Matt to stick up for me? :-)

Nicolas Kiefer Calls It a Career

Forgot to note that Nicolas Kiefer had announced his retirement last month, but figured you wouldn't mind this belated photo sendoff. The German hunk won six titles during his career and reached No. 4 in the rankings. More than anything, though, he was awfully nice to look at.

Novak Djokovic and His Australian Open Hardware

Novak Djokovic rekindles the romance in Melbourne with the Norman Brookes Challenge Cup, which he last bedded in 2008.

Full Nelson

(Video has been removed)

Much to the disbelief of just about every gay guy I know, I'm the least observant person in the world when it comes to, um, crotches. (I'm a face man!) Someone will walk by and a friend will invariably say, "Did you see THAT?" Um, no. So I watched this whole video and just thought it was sexy because it's two good-looking college guys wrestling on a mat -- then I read the comments. HEAD'S up: pay attention to the guy in blue shorts at 2:35 -- he's raising himself in victory! (From HERE via HERE.)

INSTINCT Makes a Splash!

INSTINCT's annual swimsuit issue has got to be my favorite since my last article appeared the magazine a few years ago -- from cover man Chris Nogiec's seven-picture spread to the something-for-everyone models in the Swim Team spread, especially Chet and Eric (down below).

UPDATE: Click HERE for three more KIT212 photo exclusives!

Oh, and how fun -- Michael and I were "spotted"!

Henry Cavill Is (Indeed a) Superman!

I always thought Brandon Routh was perfect as Clark Kent -- he certainly had the right bulge for the role. But I would never argue against casting Henry Cavill in anything -- especially where tights are concerned. We already know how good his NAKED ASS looks.

Monday Ad Watch

I'd never even heard of DIM underwear until a reader sent me a link to this commercial featuring a bunch of French French rugby players (like hottie Rougerie Aurelien). But I think it's pretty safe to say my favorite maker now.

Winners Circle

Scott Hilburn's comic of Charlie Sheen playing "The $25,000 Pyramid"was as prophetic as it was hilarious!

Morning Wood

On the Rag, Vol. 122

A weekly look at what's making news in the free gay mags:

Next catches up with filmmaker Gregg Araki ("Mysterious Skin"), who is back with a new film, an omnisexual sci-fi romp called "Kaboom."

Frontiers and Charo(!) help you escape from L.A.!

Novak Djokovic Gives the Shirt Off His Back

It's hard to know for sure if Andy Murray was just overwhelmed (again) by the occasion, or if Novak Djokovic was just unbeatable in the Australian Open final -- he was awfully impressive on defensive and offense -- but one thing is for certain: the highlight of the match was Nole's post-victory strip tease. Nole is no stranger to taking off his shirt after a win, but when the shoes came off too, Patrick McEnroe & Co. were getting awfully nervous that that might not be where the sexy Serb stops. Sadly, it was. But the photo album is one for the ages!

(Novak could have at least stripped down to his undies, like this guy did!)

Also more exciting than the match was this singlet-ed Serb fan above, and Aussie hunk Eric Bana

The incredible hunk

Reunited and it feels so good

I think it's great for the game that Djokovic is no longer a one-Slam wonder, but as Marat Safin proved, it's no guarantee that he will be "in the mix" moving forward. As far as the Australian Open has come in the last two decades -- you may recall that Brian Teacher and Barbara Jordan were champs back when, and Bjorn Borg only entered it once -- I still think it ranks as a distant fourth as far as prestige goes. Although the French has a lot of things going for it that the U.S. doesn't, I still rank Wimbledon No. 1, the U.S. Open No. 2, the French Open No. 3 and Melbourne No. 4, and would still find it a little bit difficult to rank someone No. 1 for the year if the Aussie were the only major they'd won. Anyone disagree?

Wiener Roast

Somehow, I don't think this is going to do much to quell those gay rumors about Mr. Schu.

You'll Never Anchor in This Town Again (UPDATED)

Read juicy highlights from the book HERE.

I'm not sure how much people care about local TV news -- even in a market like New York City -- but oft-fired Charles Perez's Confessions of a Gay Anchorman" sounds like the kind of bitter tell-all I could really relate to sink my teeth into.

Product description: "A behind the scenes, in front of the camera look at what it is to be a gay man on TV. It is a call for others -- like Anderson Cooper and Shepard Smith -- to come out of the closet!" (Ed. Note: That's twice this week, AC!)

Likening himself to the "new girl" in school when he arrived at WABC/Channel 7 in the Big Apple, Perez claims his coworkers were mean girls who wouldn't let him into the clique. "I'd never had a problem fitting in before," he writes in this self-published memoir. "This was new to me. It was like one of those teen movies where the bitchy girls don't let the new girl in. But, in my case, after a while I didn't want to be let in."

"Real World" Norm's ex rips into just about everyone -- Liz Cho, Bill Ritter, Diana Williams -- and goes after (A-Gay weatherman) Sam Champion with a vengeance. (His only friend? Sade Baderinwa -- but what GAY wouldn't wanna be BFFs with a chick named Sade?!!!)

The Daily News reports that insiders at Channel 7 are shocked Perez would take such a public stand, "given that he was not there long and his run was not seen as spectacular."

"He hardly knew anyone," said a source. "The book should be 'Confessions of a Bad Anchorman.' He was dreadful. A young Ted Baxter."

UPDATE (Jan. 29): A source who worked at ABC News while Charles was at WABC -- but does not know him personally -- confirmed with me on Saturday night that during his own time with the network, "word traveled around the building about (Charles') incompetence. Makes you wonder how he got the job in the first place. One story that became legend was during the 2005 tsunami he pronounced it 'tee-sunami.' If I'm remembering correctly Sandra Booker told him during the break that the 't' was silent and he argued with her that it was proper either way. Yeah. Based on what I've heard about him socially from people who have known him in Miami I would tend to believe he is the snotty new kid in school who shows up with a sense of entitlement and alienates everyone, as opposed to his version. I'm good friends with various other people there ... and Charles' account doesn't add up."

Perez, who later moved to Miami only to be canned a couple years later (he says he was fired four days after filing a sexual-orientation complaint), got married in 2009 to his lover, Keith Rinehard, and now goes by the name of Charles Perez Rinehard.

Here's hoping his "new" name confuses perspective employers and helps him line up some new interviews, although it sounds like he's more content being away from it all -- and writing catty memoirs.

Constant Craving

Perhaps I am a tad bit judgmental, but is it really necessary to watch a movie at an Au Bon Pain -- under any circumstances? I predict by year's end there will be someone in a movie theater I'm sitting in watching a (competing) flick on an iPad. Mark my words.

RIP, Gladys Horton

From left: Gladys Horton, Wanda Young, Georgeanna Tilman and Katherine Anderson 

Sad to read that the Marvelettes lead singer died on Wednesday in Sherman Oaks, Calif., from complications of a stroke. I have "Please Mr. Postman," “Beechwood 4-5789,” "Too Many Fish in the Sea," “Don’t Mess With Bill” and “The Hunter Gets Captured by the Game" on my iPod and they never fail to make me smile. Thanks for that, Ms. Horton.

 

Best Picture Nominees in Lego

"127 Hours"

Despite my penchant for Batgirl and dolls with really cool apartments, I was also a huge fan of GI Joe, Big Jim and Legos. I'd like think that if I were 10 years old right now, I'd have come up with these brilliant best picture nominee scenes:

"The King's Speech"

"The Kids Are All Right" (lesbian Legos!!)

"The Fighter"

See all 10 HERE. And see some of brickmaster Alex Eylar's other classic works HERE.

Caption Me

From here.

The Pee-Bow Pack

In the early oughts, I was a member of what has become known as the Pee-Bow Pack. (If you are unclear what a pee-bow is, just look down the next time you use a urinal.) The term was introduced to a former female coworker of mine by a chain-restaurant manager in Kentucky while she was training on bathroom duty as part of her hostess responsibilities ("Make sure you use the brush to get all them pee-bows"). My pal burst into tears -- so they "promoted" her to being a server instead.

My friend -- whose grandmother was famously too cheap to buy a wheelchair so rode around in a shopping cart with the front end sawed off -- remembers it this way:

"It was a classy establishment called the Italian Oven. I was promoted from hostess to server since servers did not have to clean the bathrooms, which included pee-bow removal and replacing the plastic grates at the bottom of the urinals. The plastic grates were horrible but the pee-bow removal is what brought on the tears."

I miss you Amy -- and all of you guys!

Nasty Boy

This guy puts Vanity to shame ...

KenKen

Barbie needs a new boyfriend. I'm not that impressed by the selection -- Malibu Ken with no genitals looks better than these guys -- but you can help her find him by playing Hulu's "Genuine Ken: The Search for the Great All-American Boyfriend" HERE.

Morning Wood

Tired Old Queen at the Movies: 'From Here to Eternity' (1953)

This week, Steve Hayes reviews Fred Zinnemann;s "From Here to Eternity," which won eight Academy Awards, including best picture, best director and best supporting acting statues for Frank Sinatra and Donna Reed.

LGBT Activist David Kato Murdered

RIP: David Kato, 1965-2011

Heartbreaking news from Uganda, where the country's most well-known activist was brutally attacked with hammer in his home before dying en route to the hospital. Here's hoping this is a turning point for the LGBT population of this country, which has been under siege with a newspaper publishing names and photos of gays and lesbians and a government trying to pass legislation to make homosexuality punishable by death. 

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton issued the following statement about the murder:

"Our thoughts and prayers are with his family, friends, and colleagues. We urge Ugandan authorities to quickly and thoroughly investigate and prosecute those responsible for this heinous act. David Kato tirelessly devoted himself to improving the lives of others."

UPDATE: His murderer was sentenced to 30 years in prison.

Carlene Carter Brings 'Every Little Thing' to Joe's Pub

Michael and I ushered in the latest East Coast snowstorm spending a cozy night at Joe's Pub seeing the talented Carlene Carter perform. Although I'm a latecomer to the music of the daughter of Carl Smith and June Carter Cash, I've more than made up for in in recent times, so was thrilled that the uncomfortably hilarious singer/comedian Tammy Faye Starlite persuaded Carlene to return to New York City for a one-off concert so she could open for her.

From the second she walked out on stage with a two-piece band and a shit-eating grin, CC let it be known that she was there to have a good time -- a credo she's willing to admit she has practiced to a fault, even if she insists there are no regrets -- then launched into the upbeat "Sweet Meant to Be" from her 1993 LP, "Little Love Letters." From there, she did a string of songs from her most recent album, "Stronger," including her actual little love letter to hubby Joe Breen (who was seated next to us), "Bring Love," in which the then-lost soul learns to live and love with again with his help after a string of personal losses and wounds, some of which were self-inflicted.

The night was filled with highlights, including a show-and-tell segment where she pulled out a red miniskirt she used to comfortably fit into -- she joked that when she used to tour regularly, she only needed a suitcase the size of a makeup trunk because her clothes were so small!) -- as well as the famed see-through plastic mini she wore at the Bottom Line the night she uttered the immortal "put the cunt back into country" line not realizing her parents were in the audience. "I had undergarments on, but then the whole thing fogged up!" she laughed. "These days, about the only thing I could use this for is a rain bonnet!" (In fact, she looked pretty damn good for a hard-living 55-year-old broad.) An "I Fell in Love" singalong (practically led by yours truly) and lots of self-deprecating humor kept the evening festive, despite some serious song topics.

There were also lots of fun stories about growing up in the Carter Family -- accompanied by a beautiful medley of "My Dixie Darling," "Wabash Cannonball" and "Church in the Wildwood" -- and it was heartwarming seeing how her face lit up even more than usual every time she'd talk about her touring days with the Carter Sisters. (A peculiar tale about how sister Rosie knew how to stealth spit while she sang, and used to take great pleasure in messing with Aunt Helen, who could be very by-the-book on tour, seemed to tickle her the most.)

Her versatility was on full display too, playing the autoharp on the lovelorn song "The Rain" and the piano on the inspirational "Stronger," about little sister Rosie, who died of accidental carbon monoxide poisoning on a tour bus in 2003.

"Sweet baby sister held the world upon her shoulders / She had a spirit like a twister this life could not hold her ..."

If I were to have any complaints about the show -- and when don't I have a complaint? -- it would be that she didn't do any material off her acclaimed early albums (by far her best stuff), back when Nashville didn't know what to make of the heiress to a country throne who moved overseas and married a British New Wave rocker.



(Did you know that the wedding scenes in Nick Lowe's classic "Cruel to Be Kind" video are actual footage of his marriage to Carlene?!)

Still, whenever someone has been making music for around 35 years, you're never going to be please everyone. For the record: I'd have settled for just one, though -- especially if it had been "Never Together (But Close Sometimes" or "Radio Sweetheart" -- but what can you do?

Afterward, CC came out for a meet-and-greet in the pub's lobby, where I got some nice photos and an autograph. I complimented her on a great show and told her that I had come fully prepared to duet with her on "Baby Ride Easy" -- her duet with Dave Edmunds that is my all-time fave -- which made her laugh and we agreed we'd do it "next time." I then asked her if she had thought about writing a memoir -- "From Maybelle to Maybelline: My Life as the Carter Family Bad Girl" or "From State Fairs to State Prisons: Growing Up Bad in the Carter Family of Good" are titles that come to mind -- to which she replied rather emphatically, "Yes, I am." I asked her if she had an agent and she said no, and I told her I might know people who could help. (I do, and I will be following up on that. This is a book any music fan would love to read!)

As we said goodbye, I asked her if she had read (stepsister) Rosanne's book. She said she hadn't, but that she'd bought herself a copy and then she smiled and said, "I'll bet I know what's in it!" From there, Michael and I -- a little bit drunker, and a little bit happier -- walked out into the blizzard, singing "I Fell in Love" the whole way home. And I believe Mikey -- who had never heard any of Carlene's music before -- indeed did.

Joe's Pub, Jan. 26, 2011, set list:

"Sweet Meant to Be" (Little Love Letters)
"The Bitter End" (Stronger)
"To Change Your Heart" (Stronger)
"Bring Love" (Stronger)
"Break My Little Heart in Two" (Stronger)
"The Rain" (Little Love Letters)
"My Dixie Darling" (Carter Family)
"Church in the Wildwood" (Carter Family)
"Wabash Cannonball" (Carter Family)
"Me and the Wildwood Rose" (I Fell in Love)
"Ring of Fire" (Musical Shapes)
"Hallelujah in My Heart" (Little Love Letters)
"I Fell in Love" (I Fell in Love)
"Every Little Thing" (Little Love Letters)
"Stronger" (Stronger)

And a big thank you to my brother's friend Kathy for this custom T-shirt!