Monday, January 15, 2018

Remains of the Day (01/15)


ATP World Tour: First Dominic Thiem's "good friend" Rico Bellotti deletes his Instagram account, and now Thiem has a new "best friend"?

The New York Times: Rex Reed is still here, damn it

Boy Culture: Touching remembrances of teen hustlers, kept boys and XXX actors

New York Post: Gwyneth Paltrow actually got a Go-Go’s musical to B’way / info/tickets update HERE

The WoW Report: When his son brings home a gay porn star, Dad's reaction is shocking

AmericaBlog: Playing fetch with sea lions at the Smithsonian’s National Zoo in Washington, D.C. (video)


The Film Experience: "Jumanji" and "The Post" top weekend box office

HuffPost: Celebrities react to the death of Dolores O'Riordan of the Cranberries

Towleroad: Donald tells reporters he's the "least racist person you will ever interview" 

Deep Dish: Check out the gear shift on this guy

Homorazzi: Meet Mr. Gay Pride Australia 2018 -- yowza

Dlisted: "Modern Family" like to end after next year's Season 10


The Washington Post: Vulgarity used by Donald projected onto his D.C. hotel

The Randy Report: Virginia Senate committee votes down adding LGBT-inclusive hate crimes bill

Curbed: What $400,000 buys in NYC now

OMG Blog: Olympic diver Nicholas Robinson-Baker flaunts what's crammed in his Speedo

PinkNews: Man robbed at gunpoint during Grindr hookup

TeleSur: An American bloodbath Down Under, including 2017 finalist Venus Williams


TVLine: Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's romance to become a Lifetime movie

Gr8er Days: Darlanne Fluegel, "Eyes of Laura Mars" actress, dies at 64

Greg in Hollywood: When "The Rosie O'Donnell Show" was Broadway's biggest booster

Outsports: Gay former football player finds incredible acceptance in the South(?)

Vintage NYT: Does Katie Roiphe's much-maligned 1993 date rape article sound any better in 2017?

Back2Stonewall: Florida to offer free HIV prevention drug PrEP statewide


Hot Cat of the Day: Harvey would be good at this, so long as it was his idea to get in the booth!

Anonymous Photographer, Katie Way of Babe.net Accused of #RevengePorn Against Aziz Ansari


Nothing more depressing for a writer than to find that someone else shared your thoughts about something but was so much better at putting them into words.


While my response to a tweet from Cher about the Aziz Ansari allegation -- which to me is the more interesting (but with far higher stakes since it affects real lives) version of The New Yorker's Cat Person (fiction) story everyone was debating last month -- got some play, Caitlin Flanagan really nailed it in her piece for The Atlantic.
Was Grace frozen, terrified, stuck? No. She tells us that she wanted something from Ansari and she was trying to figure out how to get it. She wanted affection, kindness, attention. Perhaps she hoped to maybe even become the famous man’s girlfriend. He wasn’t interested. What she felt afterward—rejected yet another time, by yet another man—was regret. And what she and the writer who told her story created was 3,000 words of revenge porn. The clinical detail in which the story is told is intended not to validate her account as much as it is to hurt and humiliate Ansari. Together, the two women may have destroyed Ansari’s career, which is now the punishment for every kind of male sexual misconduct, from the grotesque to the disappointing. 
The "revenge porn" phrasing is what was so brilliant, because that's exactly what this (and others I've called out) are: smear pieces chock full of deeply personal and embarrassing details -- that you know are wrong to look at yet you can't turn away -- revealed only to get back at someone the alleged victim perceives as having done him/her wrong, dressed up as #MeToo sagas. (I'm going back and relabeling pieces by David Ng of the Los Angeles Times, Mary Ann Georgantopoulos of BuzzFeed, Robin Pogrebin of the New York Times, and Dawn C. Chmielewski / Dominic Patten of Deadline as the #RevengePorn that they are, (Click on news organization names for offending works.)


As awed as I was, I suppose it was foolish to think even Caitlin Flanagan had gotten the final word on the subject. Indeed, I woke up to reactions from friends I greatly respect that still saw nothing wrong with the #RevengePorn piece on Babe.net. It was only in the shower while getting ready for work that I realized that a far greater percentage of the world is OK with (what I call) the Yelpification of everyday life, meaning anyone (and everyone but especially celebrities, obviously) should be on notice that anything (and everything) you do -- even in the privacy of your own home where there is just that, the expectation of privacy ("the claw"???) -- is fair game to scrutiny by the world, by way of an artfully worded tweet directed at the lowest-hanging "journalist." I guess just because she had his phone number and he was completely receptive to her concerns that was no reason not to run to the "media" and share what happened six months ago with the world, instead. Not a fan of Ansari's -- and no one is saying his behavior was commendable -- but it will be interesting to see if Katie Way and Ansari's still-anonymous date's effort will be able to exact the maximum revenge they seemed to be aiming for. 


Aziz Ansari responds:
In September of last year, I met a woman at a party. We exchanged numbers. We texted back and forth and eventually went on a date. We went out to dinner, and afterwards we ended up engaging in sexual activity, which by all indications was completely consensual. The next day, I got a text from her saying that although "it may have seemed okay," upon further reflection, she felt uncomfortable. It was true that everything did seem okay to me, so when I heard that it was not the case for her, I was surprised and concerned. I took her words to heart and responded privately after taking the time to process what she had said. I continue to support the movement that is happening in our culture. It is necessary and long overdue.
Note the reference to responding to her concerns ... PRIVATELY. (Just because there's social media doesn't mean we can't speak directly to one another, people.)

Remembering Martin Luther King Jr.



Dolores O’Riordan, Lead Singer of the Cranberries, Dies at 46


Sickened to see (actual) "breaking news" alerts that Dolores O’Riordan, lead singer of the Cranberries, died today. O'Riordan, whose band was known for hits like "Dreams," "Linger" and "Zombie" was just 46. There was no immediate information about the cause of death.

“Irish and international singer Dolores O’Riordan has died suddenly in London today,” her publicist, Lindsey Holmes, said in a statement, which explained that O’Riordan had been in London for a recording session.

Family members are "devastated to hear the breaking news and have requested privacy at this very difficult time.”

As saddened as I am by this news, I can't say I'm entirely surprised. I remember picking up a tabloid in Ireland about 10 years ago -- well after O'Riordan's '90s heyday -- and being shocked to read that she felt like a prisoner because of her fame (depression, anorexia, anxiety), which was totally news to me. Living in the U.S., it never occurred to me that being a famous fish in a small (country across the) pond could be so difficult, and it was my first clue that she wasn't just enjoying the life of a has-been '90s pop star as one would have hoped.

Losing stars of my era who were older than I am (Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston) was one thing. But losing one who is actually a tad younger is particularly jarring.

RIP.

Mug Shot Monday


Spending 17 years in the slammer for a robbery you didn't commit is unimaginable. But at least his "evil doppelganger" (who's actually way better looking) was finally discovered, allowing the innocent man, right, to go free.

Song of the Day: 'Are You There (With Another Guy)' by Luther Vandross


A fellow Dionne Warwick fan sent me this. Oh, Luther gurl!


P.S. 


I think I prefer Mari Wilson's take!

Morning Wood


Another look HERE.

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