Friday, September 25, 2009



Sorry for the delay in posting... Ran into some online issues this morning. (How did we ever live without the internet?!) As Dan is still in DC and Craig has gone to Dallas (fried Oreos at the Texas State Fair, anyone?) I'm on dog-walking duty, and Nina the Wondermutt is crossing her legs, so I'm going to attempt to make this one short. (I've said that before!)

The Park Slope gathering was quite small last night, with only myself, Nick, and Adam -- who arrived with wine-stained lips after downing a bottle of Malbec before arriving late at 9:45pm. (Not that I cared, I was busy working on an outline for a possible YA novel...details to come.) Jason had a date with "The Architect." ("It's his birthday and we're making babies," I was told.) Got a text from Tim saying he couldn't make it. Not sure what happened to Jay, Saskia, or Scott.

We decided to opt out of our usual Top Chef viewing pre-Runway, in favor of the most recent episode of Glee. Craig and I watched it on Wednesday night, but Nick and Adam are only new to digital TV and were behind an episode in their online viewing. So I treated them. If you haven't seen the episode titled "Preggers," do yourself a favor and check it out.

Before we started in with Project Runway, we took a quick "caucus" to see where the designers stand in our favor. Nick's top pick is Gordana (or the "Polish/Russian Chick"). I voted for Althea (I wanted to use "Without Nipples" again!), and Adam's pick was Ra'mon. (Stay tuned for spoilers!)

Tonight's challenge: "Create a look inspired by a film genre." The designers learned this after meeting with Tim and L'Oreal Paris makeup artist Collier Strong. (Am I the only one who thinks he's sorta hot, bad skin and all?)

Genre choices include:

1) Action & Adventure -- chosen by Logan ("Hottie") and Carol Hannah
2) Period Piece -- chosen by Gordana and Christopher ("Beard Boy")
3) Film Noir -- chosen by Louise and Althea ("Without Nipples" -- said it again!)
4) Sci-Fi -- chosen by Ra'mon and Nicolas ("Annoying")
5) Western -- the least favorite, chosen by Shirin and Epperson (by default -- why is he always last?!)

Looking back I can't recall what genre Irina chose. She went first, as she was the winner last week. Here's her look, please remind me:

Nick summed up everyone's disdain for western with "Western is hot."

Designer interviews revealed Carol Hannah wanting to create "a sexy assasin." Althea: "a femme fatale." Can't remember what Logan wanted to design, as Nick was busy remarking, "Logan is a little dumb." But still the hottest guy on the show.

Surprisingly, this was a one-day challenge, with a $150 budget. Off to Mood! Fabric, fabric, fabric. Back to the workroom, where someone steals Louise's bobbin... Sabbotage on Project Runway? Never! Here, Louise got picked apart quite a bit -- making us wonder if she was going to be crowned "The Winner." (stay tuned for spoilers!)

Adam determines that Logan has "dead eyes." (Or did I say that? My writing is a little messier than usual -- after two vodka/sodas.) Nick says, "I'd still wanna see him naked."

Tim arrives for the critiques...

To Christopher: "not Victorian/1800s."
To Epperson: "Annie Get Your Gun!" (in a good way)
To Ra'mon: "Could be sublime or a Big Hot Mess."

The models arrive for hair and makeup with Collier (which means "necklace" en francais, btw). As we see Nicolas' model, Celine, being transformed into Nicole Kidman "The Ice Queen," Nick says, "She's got the face for Sci-Fi." Adam replies, "And she got the solo on Glee." (Referring to the Asian girl whose name escapes me and I don't feel like looking up.)

Poor Ra'mon! Remember a few weeks back when he scrapped his look last minute and went with the neopreen number, and won the challenge? Tonight he decides to do it again, after dubbing his Sc-Fi inspired design as "Kermit the Frog gone wrong." His model looks devasated -- she knows her ass is on the line of Ra'mon loses! Nick says, " There's nothing worse than a sad model." But we all love how Carol Hannah gives Ra'mon a helping hand. I'd be like, "Bitch! This is a competition." (I'm sure I wouldn't, I just wanted to say that.)

The Day of the Show Y'all...

We notice that "Beard Boy" has a faux-hawk now. It looks good, but aren't they so 2005?

The judges are revealed: again, no Michael Kors or Nina Garcia. We've given up hope for their return -- damn LA and Lifetime! Instead we get John Varvatos (anyone?), Zoe from Marie Claire, and Arianne Phillips, (I'm not fact-checking) a costume designer.

We take a tally of our faves as they parade down the runway:

1) Epperson (western)
2) Christopher (period piece)
3) Irina (can't remember)

Scores are tallied... 5 designers are "safe," leaving us with:

Top 3: Nicolas (no!), Christopher, and Epperson

Bottom 3: Gordana (no!), Ra'mon (quelle surprise!), and Louise.

Gordana in the bottom again? Her '20s flapper dress was awesome! The critique: "too authentic." (Like something from somebody's grandmother's closet.) Poor Louise! Zoe goes off on her: "convulted mess," "snooze fest." She tells Ra'mon his look is "B-movie" (which is was.) Heidi interjects, "Hot Green Mess."

Nicolas gets tons of praise lavished on him...which makes us want to vomit. We're all pulling for Epperson and/or Christopher. Anyone to kick Nicolas' ass back to Poland (or Russia)!

After the commerical, Heidi informs Gordana she is safe. Which throws us off our game. Usually the runner-up goes to safety first. Look at Lifetime mixing it up! Christopher or Epperson is set to safety next. Nicolas is crowned the winner (no!), leaving Louise and Ra'mon on the chopping block.

And the loser is... Ra'mon -- in a major upset! We all thought for sure the judges would keep him around. He's done such good work in the past. Not to mention, he seems like a nice guy.

Adam sums it up: "This is Lifetime... TV for women." Does this explain why Louise is allowed to stay?

Project Runway airs on Lifetime TV at 10pm ET.

*FRANK ANTHONY POLITO is a Brooklyn-based writer, and author of the novels Band Fags! and Drama Queers!

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