Page 1 Consider (01/07)

Mister Softie: Get a room, fatty. (LARagMag)

Brown Nosing: The United States has spent more than $30 million on a high-security detention center to house "more dangerous" prisoners captured in Afghanistan. Cells were originally made for multiple occupants, but "because the cultural modesty of Afghan men would make them uncomfortable sharing an open toilet, it was subsequently decided that the prisoners should be held individually." Fuck you -- like American prisoners just love to shit in front of each other. I'm so tired of the whole world bending over backward to kiss the asses of a tiny minority of crazed fundamentalists because they are afraid they will blow them up. (NYT)

Good Clean (and Articulate) Fun: Kudos to blogger Wendi Muse over at Does Race Matter? for daring to go where this blog has decided to never go again: head-to-head with a nutty reader over race issues. (Does Race Matter?)

Making a Splash Down Under: I've never seen the winner of a tennis tournament pose with his trophy the way Michael Llodra of France did after his victory in the final of the Australian men's hard-court championships. If he's gonna act like this then he might as well have worn a Speedo. (SMH)

Shoe-manship: K-Swiss signs Germany hottie Tommy Haas. (TSF)

Straight Bouncer Wins Lawsuit: I guess I'd better watch who I call a "breeder." (Advocate)

Solid As a Rock (Lobster): Indie film star turned apartment wrecker Natasha Lyonne is alive and -- well, she's alive: During a break from a rehearsal for a new off-Broadway, she confesses to trying to give more of a damn. "I took it about as far as I could," she said with finality. "And I didn't die, so I decided to live, basically. Obviously it’s complicated, but it’s also very simple. I wasn't dead at 27, so I might as well be 30. You’re already in it. You may as well be in a rocking chair some day eating a lobster club." (NYT) What a difference between now and when The Times went shopping with her in 2000.

Golden State: The California Supreme Court has declined to review an appeal challenging basic property tax protections for domestic partners. The decision is a major victory for same-sex couples because no further appeals are possible. (Advocate)

What Is Wrong With This World? A man in Tyler, Texas, killed his girlfriend, then filleted and cooked parts of her body before calling police to tell them what he was doing, authorities said Sunday. (AP)

Everyone Knows It's Bindi: Is anyone else totally creeped out by Steve Irwin's "precocious" daughter? (NYT

Better Late Than Never: Even though I've never forgiven her for beating Tracy Austin in the 1980 Wimbledon semis, I had to say congrats to the graceful Aussie Evonne Goolagong for finally achieving the Number One ranking on the Women's Tennis Association computer. Sure it was in 1976, but it's gotta still feel good. And who knows -- maybe she'll get lucky and Martina Hingis will be in town to help her celebrate. (SMH)