Page 1 Consider (02/06)

Is This Completely Necessary? I didn't watch the Super Bowl so when I first heard about the controversial Snickers ad over on AmericaBlog and Towleroad, my first thought was this is much ado about nothing. I watched the clip and two mechanics are seen accidentally kissing while eating a Snickers "Lady and the Tramp" style and then have to do something "manly" to wash away the shame (in the version I saw they then ripped off their chest hair and screamed in agony -- nothing like waxing your chest to feel more manly). Stupid? Yes. Homophobic? No. To me, the whole ad was retarded from the get-go because there would be no reason to eat a candy bar that way in the first place. But then I kept reading and discovered that there were other versions that entailed having the guys bash each with wrenches in order to "feel manly" and then I quickly saw what the problem was (anyone recall what happened to my friend Dick Jefferson & Co. on St. Martin last year?). I don't know what the Masterfoods division of Mars was thinking (don't they run these things by any non-straight-white-males at all?), but it seems GLAAD and the Human Rights Campaign's quick protests have led to the ads -- and the corresponding Web site showing how grossed out NFL players were by the sight of two men kissing -- being pulled. (NYT)

Born Again Breeder: Did you hear the one about Ted Haggard not being gay anymore? (DP)

Bob and Weave: I heard via my friend Steve that Viveca A. Fox had a rather embarrassing moment over the weekend outside the Raleigh Hotel in Miami. Apparently she was getting out of a car when suddenly her "hair" fell off. She shouted to her squad, "Weave down!" and everyone froze. She picked up the hair piece, plopped it back on her head (lopsided) and carried on about her business. The tale sounds most delightful, although the only people reporting on it are far-away Asian publications ... so make of it what you will. They went to the trouble of writing about it, so it's a fact as far as I'm concerned. (DailyIndia)

Giving Drunks a Bad Name: I thought it was rather hot of SF Mayor Gavin Newsom for fucking his best friend's wife and then apologizing about it only when he had to. But now comes word that he's checking into alcohol rehab and he's starting to sound just like every other backpedaling politician on the block. (AP)

O'Neal Family Values: Yesterday I mentioned that actor Ryan O'Neal had been arrested for assault with a deadly weapon after getting into a skirmish with his messy son Griffin. Now it turns out Griffin's pregnant gal pal was assaulted in the melee, too, all during a birthday birthday for Farrah Fawcett, who was also celebrating having a cancer-free ass. Where was Tatum when they needed her? (AP)

How Do You Like Them Procreating Apples? In response to the Washington Supreme Court ruling that said the state could prevent gay and lesbian couples from marrying because the state has a legitimate interest in preserving marriage for procreation gay-marriage activists have filed an initiative that would allow only couples capable of having kids to marry, and then require a "proof of procreation" within three years of the marriage. If not, the marriage would be annulled. Initiative 957 would also force couples who married out of state to show the same proof of procreation or their marriage wouldn't be recognized, and it would become a criminal act for anyone in an unrecognized marriage to get marriage benefits. Funny how "pro marriage" and religious types are suddenly crying foul. (AP)

Bizarre Intergalactic Love Triangle: A married NASA astronaut with three children who flew on the space shuttle Discovery drove 950 miles from Houston to Orlando -- wearing adult diapers so she would not have to stop to urinate -- to confront a woman she believed to be a rival for the attention of a fellow astronaut (read: not her husband) was arrested on Monday on charges including battery and attempted kidnapping, according to police in Orlando, Fla. Lisa Nowak disguised herself in a dark wig, glasses and trench coat also carried black gloves, pepper spray, a folding knife with a 4-inch blade, rubber tubing and trash bags, police said. In her statement to authorities, Nowak said she did not intend to physically harm Colleen Shipman but "only wanted to scare Ms. Shipman into talking with her." What the hell is going on in this world? You can't write better stuff than this. I see a big-time comeback film for Meg Ryan (on Lifetime) in the works. (AP)

RIP: Singer and actress Barbara McNair, who became a film and television star in an era when such opportunities were opening up for black women, has died at 72. McNair made her Hollywood acting debut in 1968 in the film, "If He Hollers, Let Him Go." She later starred opposite Sydney Poitier in "They Call Me Mister Tibbs" and with Elvis Presley in "Change of Habit." I wasn't very familiar with McNair's work, but she sure was a beauty. May she rest in peace. (NYT)