Monday, November 13, 2023

Weekend Tennis Roundup


Titles for Mannarino and Umbert, Team Canada won its first BJK Cup, plus all the ATP beef that's fit to post BELOW.

Keep reading for more of Constant Lestienne in his fetishwear. 

Adrian Mannarino defeated Jack Draper 7-6 (6), 2-6, 6-3 to win the Sofia Open title. 

Although it was the exact opposite of what I wanted to have happen -- do we need to shut the tour down until we can figure out why the geriatric Frenchman keeps beating everyone I love? -- it bodes well that the hunky Brit is on the mend, although God knows he'll probably turn around get injured again tomorrow.

Ugo Humbert claimed his first ATP Tour title since 2021 on Saturday by winning his hometown tournament at the Moselle Open. The Metz native defeated Alexander Shevchenko 6-3, 6-3 to cap a memorable week on home soil.

With the victory, the 25-year-old rises to a career high of No. 20 in the ATP rankings

In Sofia's doubles, Gonzalo Escobar and Aleksandr Nedovyesov defeated Julian Cash and Nikola Mektić 6–3, 3–6, (13–11)

Chin up, Nikola

And in the Moselle doubles, Hugo Nys and Jan Zieliński defeated Hendrik Jebens and Constantin Frantzen, 6–4, 6–4

But Hendrik -- seen here with Frantzen -- still looks like this

Cheers, boys!

And for the first time in the competition's 60-year history, Canada is/are Billie Jean King Cup champions. The Canadians' Cinderella run finished Sunday with a 2-0 triumph against Italy, as Marina Stakusic and Leylah Fernandez beat Martina Trevisan and Jasmine Paolini, respectively, to win the title.

I'm not sure what role Ryan Harrison played with the USA BJK Cup team ... 

but I'm guessing he got plenty of tail 

No one is more shocked than I am that he spelled its correctly here 

And now for the biggest news of the week: My polyamorous engagement to Borna Coric is back on, baby! 

With the hair taken care of, I'm even willing to try my hand at padel (WTF?) to keep him satisfied 

And speaking of bonus lovers: Always makes sense to give Damian's other husband, David O'Hare, an award for something

Sharing these photos of Juan Betancourt in an attempt to justify my continuing inclusion of him in tennis roundups. (SEE? He plays tennis!!!!)

No complaints when Adam Jones forgets his top

Now what's eating Reilly Opelka?

Player-turned-daddy Thomas Fabbiano

Thanasi Kokkinakis and his "friend" both looking sharp

I'm ready to hear Yannick Hanfmann out

Mate Pavic didn't have the best year, but he seems to be making a lot of mortals happy 

Team Serbia is ready for Malaga

But maybe not the right sport

Gonzalo Bueno got his photo taken ...

with two leggy Europeans 

Coach Rob Morgan 

John Millman announces that he will retire after the Australian Open 

God bless Robert Cardenas for getting some more new underwear

Mama's boy Jan-Michael Gambill in action 

Might have known that Alex Robein ...

Jonny O'Mara 

Get well soon, Pablo Carreno Busta

Albano Olivetti doesn't skip leg day

Albano with Tennis Club Strasbourg 

Meet my new favorite player: Billy Harris

Max Marterer is the latest frosted fox

I like Mikhail Youzhny's newest protege 

Maybe I could tolerate fishing if Thiago Seyboth Wild went with Tommy Paul

Grigor Dimitrov and his childhood friend/opponent

2007 vs. 2023

Borna Gojo's blond ambition 

A family reunion I'd like an invite to 

Crazy but hot Corentin Moutet took home the trophy at the Challenger in Helsinki

Luca Nardi grabbed the title in Matsuyama

O Canada! 

Wim Fissette took a break from getting Naomi Osaka ready for her return to coach the Belgian BJK Cup team

Is Victoria Azarenka looking for another hot sperm donor? 

Cristian Garin's modeling shots ...

were only lacking a bend and snap

And you probably heard that Nole locked in the year-end No. 1 ranking for a record 8th(!) time

And then celebrated by signing some hot kid's chest! Watch HERE.


And did you get a load of Constant Lestienne's outfit in Moselle?

Apparently it's not the first time he's worn this get-up, as evidenced by these pornographic photos from earlier in the year 

And last but not least: Who are you picks for Turin? 

A fine bromance: Daniil Medvedev and Andrey Rublev

Who likes Stef's pancho? 

Find someone who looks at you the when Neal Skupski looks at Wesley Koolhof

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