Page 1 Roundup (09/16)

The Daily News: Get out your hankies 

Jon Stewart lashes out against Congress for soldiers sickened by burn pits at war

NBC News: Poll finds majority of adults don't trust Donny on Covid-19 vaccine

Time: How conspiracy theories are shaping the 2020 election -- and shaking the foundation of American democracy

AP: White bar owner in Omaha indicted in fatal shooting of black man during protest

Ass Wednesday: Jiggle edition

Today: The Go-Go’s perform 'We Got The Beat,' announce '1986' American Girl doll, which was after they'd broken up but close enough!

Greg in Hollywood: Dominic Thiem takes victory lap on 'Regis and Kelly Lee'

NewNowNext: Check out the cover for the new 'Tales of the City' graphic novel

Boy Culture: Oh, boy -- I could get into this 'partner climb' challenge

The Randy Report: Biden leads in battleground state of Florida (but I'm not holding my breath)

AP: Donny's Mideast deals tout ‘peace’ where there was never war

New York Post: The wild scandals of NYC’s elite prep school scene

Boston University professor crushed to death in apartment elevator accident

The Washington Post: Maine wedding ‘superspreader’ event is now linked to seven deaths. None of those people attended.

Pro-Donny youth group enlists teens in secretive campaign likened to a ‘troll farm,’ prompting rebuke by Facebook and Twitter

Roy Cohn would be so proud!

The New York Times: Crackpot health official apologizes for Facebook outburst

Donny again insists the virus will magically disappear

Frozen-food heiress insists climate change has nothing to do with wildfires

Columbia marching band shuts itself down over ‘offensive behavior’

The Wall Street Journal: FTC preparing possible antitrust suit against Facebook

Tradition clashes with Zoom over how to properly honor your ancestors

Acting let Rainn Wilson erase his ‘hopelessly nerdy’ image

Hot Cat of the Day: In the (immediate) future, I see you giving me treats ...