More Men Accuse Kevin Spacey of Sexual Misconduct -- UPDATE

Not surprisingly, more men have come forward accusing Kevin Spacey of inappropriate sexual behavior. The guy's obviously got a problem and like with Anthony Rapp, I'm glad people feel comfortable to finally call him out. For those who are unclear about my thoughts, I have NEVER set out to defend Spacey in any way or tried to minimize anything he is said to have done to Rapp. I merely said it seemed counterproductive to excoriate him when he was not denying the incident or trashing the accuser -- a la Donald Trump -- and actually acknowledging he probably did do it/apologizing while finally coming out of the closet. I get that outrage over what he's alleged to have done is very much warranted. But critiquing people's apologies has always seemed pointless to me, even since my mom would force me to apologize and then reply: "You don't sound like you're sorry."

(NEWS FLASH FROM OUTSIDE THE GAY BUBBLE: Many of my work colleagues had no idea Spacey was gay and none of them conflated his coming out with preying on underage boys. People who conflate the two already think all gay people are pedophiles to begin with, so it's not worth trying to reason through.)

If you think his coming out when he did was wrong, that's fine. But I vividly remember Billie Jean King being sued for palimony by a former female lover and watching her press conference on national television listening to her STILL NOT COME OUT as she was acknowledging the affair.  For a closeted teen it felt like emotional blue balls. And to make matters worse, she opted to later trash the woman in court. Rather than acknowledge that she was gay, she and her legal team portrayed Marilyn Barnett as a "predatory lesbian" who was trying to destroy King's happy (straight!) home with hubby Larry, while Billie Jean was actually already with another woman at the time. (You can accuse Spacey of hiding behind the rainbow flag, but Billie Jean King took a lengthy piss on it.) This left a very bad taste in my mouth -- King didn't officially come out until 1998 -- so I happen to think, as bad as the timing may seem to some, it was better for Spacey to get it all out now when he so easily could have denied the whole thing or said "the young man must have misunderstood" something. He did nothing of the sort. You don't have to agree with me, but don't twist my words or try to tell me I haven't thought this through properly. I have. As to another point that many have misconstrued -- the "pedophilia" aspect -- all of these new accusers so far have been of age (barely), which bolsters my original thought that I felt that term "pedophile" was being thrown around loosely. (Liking "young guys" and being a "pedophile" are not necessary interchangeable -- and coming on to one 14-year-old is not the same as behaving inappropriately with a 4-year-old.) Yes, what he did to Rapp was wrong -- and possibly actionable at the time -- but I was simply trying to put things in context and thus far my suspicions have mostly panned out. 

What this whole thing reminds me of is O.J. Simpson going to jail for stealing memorabilia instead of murder. I don't know much about Kevin Spacey. But I've recently gathered he's said and done many horrible things over the years (not even counting what he allegedly did to Rapp) while not acknowledging his sexuality, so it seems like no matter how he'd handle his coming out, LGBTQ people were prepared to trash him. I wasn't coming from that angle, but I get that many are.

I think it's also important to be mindful of pack-mentality thinking. Because my original post about Spacey didn't just say KEVIN SPACEY BAD MAN, I've been labeled a "Spacey apologist" by ... my fellow liberals. (Huh?) What separates the left from the right has always been our ability to think critically. But I feel like so many of us are so eager to come across as "woke" (aka morally superior) that we have stopped listening to what is actually being said. (The second something veers from the talking points it's off the races, as my inbox full of insults and attacks will attest to.) Not thinking isn't something we want to pattern ourselves after Republicans. What we DO need to do is emulate the GOP at the ballot box. Instead of dwelling on the fine print -- thinking too much -- we need to WIN elections and then push our candidates to do better. Sadly, we seem to have this backward and I fear it's only going to get worse.

UPDATE: A man has come forward to say he was 14 when he had a "consensual" sexual relationship with Spacey. (He now realizes there's no such thing as a 14-year-old giving consent with an adult.) I still say sexual attraction to 14-year-olds and 4-year-olds is different. But when 14-year-olds are your pattern, you're obviously a very sick man.

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