Born in the U.S.A.

Very exciting to see Venus Williams, Madison Keys, Sloane Stephens and CoCo Vandeweghe in the final four at this year's U.S. Open. (Well, except CoCo, whose cock is a little too big for me.) But it sure makes me feel ancient that everyone is acting like the last time four American women competed in the semifinals there was a million years ago -- yet I can remember it like it was yesterday. 

I had gone into school that morning (9th grade at Rhodes Junior High) but opted to ditch after lunch so I could come home to watch my girl Tracy Austin -- on the comeback trail from missing the first four months of the year with sciatica -- take on brainy lefty Barbara Potter in the first match. 

Much to my delight, the match was a bit of a blowout -- with Tracy winning 6-1, 6-3 -- and served as more of an opening act for the Chris and Martina show.

Chris was Mrs. Lloyd at this point, and had finally clawed her way to a third Wimbledon crown for her devoted subjects, and was looking to defend her U.S. crown.

But the newly minted American citizen -- and "bisexual" -- was not having any of it, outlasting the Ice Maiden 7-5, 4-6, 6-4 to set up a final that would leave me smiling all these years later.

P.S.

And what do you think of this? I sure was wrong about Juan Martin del Potro, who was incredible against Roger Federer last night. And how about that dream matchup of Kevin Anderson vs. Pablo Carreño Busta?!