Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Str8 Talk Express

This one sounds like a real "catch":

St8 looking for gay roommate - 28 (Midtown East)

Straight guy here, 28 professional, athletic, masculine. Why I want a gay roommate, cause it works out to be a good arrangement for if we're both cool about it.

Things I like about having a gay roommate
1. you don't mind cleaning the place and picking up after us both. including our laundry
2. usually your pretty good cooks and don't mind cooking for straight guys
3. pretty good decorators and make the place look good

Things I can give you
1. Being around a hot straight guy that walks around a lot in his boxer briefs ;-)
2. Long as you can keep it discreet and not get all possessive, my dick to suck a few times a week. get really horny when been out drinking on weekends.
3. Let you massage me after work outs

The way it goes
1. Split rent 60/40. I'll pay more cause I have the bigger bedroom
2. Your masc guy, that keeps the details of this a secret
3. Your also cool to chill with, grab a beer, watch a game, play some 360 or whatever
4. Lots of beer, but no drugs except 420 but not looking for a pothead
5. You smoke, its outside
6. I am cool if you bring dudes back here, you're cool if I bring chick back. But can promise you, your the only dude getting my loads.
7. If your into working out, work-out partner 
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Posting ID: 3953730640

Posted: 2013-07-23, 7:25AM EDT

UPDATE: Because the ad's been removed but I know "you faggots" wanna see it, the uncensored photo is now HERE.

UPDATE 2: People are responding to the ad as if *I* wrote it. Read HERE.


Anonymous said...

screw me, suck me, but don't kiss me, i'm straight.

it's called denial.

Michael Kearns said...

Apparently, "straight" dudes aren't into grammar.

Wendy said...

I dunno - not being able to spell "you're" is a dealbreaker for me :-P

PurityFalls said...

Things I like about having a gay roommate:
4. YOU'RE probably good with grammar so you'll be able to correct all of my spelling mistakes.

Chad said...

Sign me up! Sending my response now!


Oh Deer. What have we hear? :(

swine said...

Why the f-word, Kenny? I hate that word. I was slaughtered with it as a kid. Too see u using it is disappointing & not especially funny.

Anonymous said...

swine: get some THERAPY, dude. it's obviously written in the voice of the st8 guy.

Jim Hopkins said...

Straight guys use the word "loads"?

Steve said...

@swine Is the "F" word like the "N" word? Is it ok if we say it to each other?

Anonymous said...

Oh right like ANY of you wouldn't room with him down because he wrote your instead of you're! And straight guys don't know what loads are?

graysloth said...

Dude, if you want me to cook, clean, and suck your dick for you, you're gonna have to hit the gym a little harder!

ML said...

This post is going more viral than HIV in the early '80s

swine said...

To be told to get therapy cuz I don't like seeing the f-word is strange.

The ad is worth a giggle & I get the context -- just can't stand that word.

Abraham said...

This comment feed is truly hilarious!!

Anonymous said...

Simplify your life. Why wait for a sextext message reply? Move in and knock on the wall, for your personal bator bud, on-demand, for the shared common areas!

Anonymous said...

HINO (Homo In Name Only) here.

I do like to watch sports -- a lot.

I neither give nor receive head. That's for whores.

If you're wearing boxers, you're advertising you have nothing down there very impressive to behold.

Excessive alcohol use offends me.

Lastly, I am nobody's maid.

Only 1 out of 4? In a word, "pass."

GenusEnvy said...

From Huffington Post:

"The ideal situation for such individuals is to find fellow closet cases that create safe conditions to maintain the heterosexual fa├žade while enjoying the sexual benefits of someone who is open and honest about their sexual orientation."

Anonymous said...

Kudos to this guy for being so OPEN and HONEST. Wish more guys were so comfortable and open, it'd save a LOT of time having to read between the lines or fumble-around through mistaken signals and signs.

Again, KUDOS to this guy for being so OPEN & HONEST. [Potential] Roommate will know exactly what he's getting into. :-)

Unknown said...

Play some 360?! Sorry man its Playstation or nothing. O man I laughed so hard when I was reading this.

Unknown said...

I came out in the 80's, had just bought a house.
Rented 2 rooms.. 1 to a female coworker, other to a male coworker who moved out the day I came out..
Over the 12 year span I owned it, 4 other str8 guys rented that room, all saying they were cool with me being gay.... And 3 of those, it later turned out, did so, in hopes i'd submit to their advances when the time came and become their secret personal cumdump for all the discreet unlimited sex they wanted... which ALL took me by surprise.. 2, I woke up to in my bed.. 3rd one totally shocked me.. I went to talk to as he was working out.. he stopped, put the weights down.., peeled his shirt off, and started flexing his huge arms and pecs..... staring at me he said.." Nice huh?.. I was like brainlocked.. uhhhhh... then taking my hand, he put it on his rock hard bicep and said.. " You like that?"... still in total disbelief that this was happening... he proceeded to strip naked.. raging hard-on, springing out of his briefs.... and YES.. I did them all.. 1st 2 were just "mechanical" sex.. taking care of needs... 3rd one was truly magical..
I wish I hadnt been so shy as I was back then, or I would have pursued that one to become something more..... They all had girlfriends etc...