Flash for Fantasy

Was tickled when Dan Savage picked up my questionably straight Craigslist ad from yesterday. In HIS POST, he pointed out that as "entitled" as many readers thought the straight guy sounded, Dan's experience writing Savage Love has taught him there are A LOT of gay guys who would love to be in an arrangement like that. (No surprise to me, either. We grow up repressed and without actual potential love interests and sex partners, so of course we fetishize straight guys and fantasize about ways to have sex with them.) 

And then the e-mails TO ME started rolling in. It seems some gay guys are so eager for some straight c**k that they couldn't even read straight, so they wrote to me as if I'm(!) the one who was running the ad. While I can understand a little confusion on the World Wide Web, the only way they could have gotten to my e-mail address would be through my blog, and we all know it's about as straight as the guy in that Craigslist ad. (Oh, wait: That almost actually makes sense.) While Bobby tries to lesson "me" in the ways of the gays -- apparently they're not all good cooks -- he does make up for his lack of culinary skills in other ways.

Bobby writes: 

sorry that it is so late or early depending on how you look at it I was on tumblr and someone posted one of your blogs and well then I got on and added you then read the comment some of the comments were just harsh those are minor things that you want. im not into the whole punctuation thing sorry about that but... being your roommate would be very nice but not all gays are good at what your asking for lol I know for a fact plus I don't live anywhere near you and on top of that all I want to do is come over and suck your dick occasionally and if you want to fuck me on those occasions then I leave I mean is it really that bad that that is all I want. anyway I have said for the most part what I needed to say. ~Bobby

I should note that Bobby used his regular e-mail address, which made finding him on Facebook easier than getting a gay guy to blow you. (BTW: He is very young and English does not appear to be his first language.) There were others, too. My response:

No c**k till the laundry's folded and dinner's on the table. 

UPDATE: He just responded:

lol see that's fine I wouldn't mind cooking and cleaning after you. well I don't work out ps I only weigh 126 lbs. 5'8" so no im not a fatty I would die if I was. but im okay with going with the gym with you though.