From my ongoing series of bitchy summaries reviews of books I might have read if I had the desire time, here is my pal Christopher's first installment on Meredith Baxter-Birney's "Untied," which he pitched to me with the following recap:
She is ridiculous. Her mother was on the TV show "Hazel" and made Meredith call her "Whitney" (WTF?). Her stepfather tried to make out with her. He was a Hollywood agent and when Meredith told him she wanted to be an actress he sent her out on casting couch calls like any pimp would. She did every drug known to man, including swallowing the Vicks vapo rub cotton to get the "speed like high."
I was sold.
Christopher writes:
Meredith begins her book by assuring us all that she has "told the truth as best" as she can recall "up to a point..." This means, that the manuscript was deemed BORING as hell by the publisher and they added a bunch of fake shit to make it readable. Thanks for the heads-up, Meredith. I think it should be on the cover as a warning.
In her prologue, Ms. Baxter takes us to the night before she announced to the world that she had decided to become a lesbian. She finds herself sitting in a bathtub at the Four Seasons in Midtown (which she should be happy about because after 20 years of doing nothing but crap Lifetime movies, she should be staying at the Holiday Inn Express!). While lathering her body with soap, bubbles and her partner Nancy's tongue, she is having a "meltdown." Would she be perceived as making a pathetic career move? Would she look desperate for attention? Would she be doing this to get out of her job on a WEB SERIES? I say, HELL YES!
To read Christopher's hilarious full report, click HERE!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Meredith Baxter: The Ties That Unbind
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5 comments:
Thanks for the chuckle! Mare's explanation of becoming a lez overnight (& in her 50's) is really fuckin' annoying. Too many straight people believe that bullshit can happen. We don't need her to perpetuate it.
Hilarious! Read it two times in a row and I'm still laughing...
Thank you so much, Anni!!
Is this NANCY MCKEON? THE NANCY MCKEON? I love you! Honey, I read this book cover to cover. I learned that she is self obsessed and a boring writer. She WISHES her book was as interesting as my "book report." Kiss to you sweetheart!
To Nancy: I realize you are Meredith's partner. I think it's lovely that you are supporting her. Believe it or not, so am I. This "report" will get people interested in buying and reading the book for themselves. We love you Nancy.
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