Lady Gaga's 'Born This Way' Video: A Gynecological Journey

I can't bring myself to watch Lady Gaga's latest video -- those are 7.5 minutes I could be watching obscure Olivia Newton-John clips -- so my pal Christopher, who hilariously reported on Charles Perez's explosive memoir for KIT212 last month, watched it for me -- and delivered a rather disturbing (and equally funny) report, which reads in part:

I just got back from the emergency room. No worries, I’ll be ok. I just had to have treatment for TOXIC SHOCK after watching the tribute to Lady Gaga’s twat, also known as her video to her hit song “Born This Way.” Yes, I know that I’m about to be hated by a gaggle of gay men in their 20s (along with aging queens) who think this woman shits gold. I believe they are called her “little fuckers” or something like that. I don’t understand you, just as I don’t understand the fascination with “The Black Spark” and his “spark plugs,” but I digress. Yes, she is a very talented musician with a great set of pipes. But, bitch please, she has lost her damn mind!

I will give Gaga the courtesy to say that the only Madonna inspired incident was at the 6:53 mark when a gap toothed, bad cheek implant looking Gaga appears as the “evil mother” crying that she lost the war. Is this Gaga’s way of telling Madonna that she’s old and over for good? If so, let the war begin!

I saw more vagina in this video than I have seen in my entire life. I found the bitch's “g” spot. As a result, I needed to be debriefed immediately after the viewing by a trained professional. My only hope is that she got a pap smear while in the stirrups during the shoot. Time management is important for a pop star. Let’s hope she made the best of it!

Watch the video -- if you dare -- and read his full report HERE.