The October issue of INSTINCT magazine poses the question, "Are Gay Men Over 40 Invisible?" The obvious answer is, "It depends what they look like." Still, I can't hear any debate about the viability of the 40-and-over crowd without thinking of my mom's friend Shirley, who marked the big milestone in the early '80s by parading around in an "OVER 40 AND STILL COOKIN'" T-shirt, which conveniently matched her tote bag, her coffee mug, her notepads, and just about everything else she owned. Even at the time I thought it was ridiculous -- it's not like her appearance changed the day she hit 40 -- but one could hardly blame cover guy Will Bercik for rockin' one of Shirley's T's at 46! No wonder he started his modeling career in his 40s.