Fruit of the Loom

I've always thought there was something a little fruity about obsessive baseball fans. It's one thing to be into something. But what I've seen just isn't natural: It's ALL they think about, ALL they talk about. ALL they care about. All the time. And now that I've found out that "America's sport" has been redefined from baseball to collecting "game-used underwear" belonging to fans' favorite baseball players (a skidmarked pair of A-Rod's BVDs go for $200-$300 a pair), I think it's high time for all those "macho" baseball fans to officially thank Jason Giambi's Village People mustache for breaking down the closet door once and for all.

Barry Petchesky of Deadspin writes: I'm putting the odds of the winning bidders framing their prizes at 8/1, and actually wearing them at 5/2. I'll also give you even money on the winners masturbating with them.