Friday, June 27, 2008

Swelegant


In case you missed this -- and you MUST NOT MISS THIS -- via Dlisted

A couple of hilarious voicemails (above) from a mega-douche named Dimitri are currently making the Internet rounds. It all started when d-bag Dimitri met the "elegant" Olga outside of a bar in San Francisco. Elegant Olga made the mistake of giving him her business card. Dimitri called Elegant Olga several times and delivered such memorable quotes as: 

"You're an extremely elegant woman. I couldn't take my eyes off you, and your friends were very jealous, even if they say they weren't..." 

"I'm Greek and I'm extremely particular about what I like. So I'm giving you an opportunity here. " 

"But nobody says 'Call me,' hands a person a business card and then doesn't return calls. It's extremely passive aggressive. You should actually look that up, passive-aggressive personality disorder." 

I'm shocked as to why Olga never called Dimitri back. I mean, he called her "elegant" several times! Any dude that calls me "elegant" is definitely the one. Dimitri totally borrowed his mommy's cell phone to leave Elegant Olga messages during his lunch break from his 8-hour shift at Quizno's.

8 comments:

Donnie said...

LOL, that was one of the most entertaining things I've listened to in a long time.

Anonymous said...

What the ... are people actually that stupid? You know how something will come along that restores your faith in humanity? This is the opposite of that.

Anonymous said...

Hmm...inflated ego...dislikes people on anti-depressants...cringe-inducingly persistant...possibly batshit crazy...sounds like we got a Scientology recruiter!

Anonymous said...

That is scary.. sounds like restraining order time.

Anonymous said...

Ohhhh, working on a movie script. How impressive.

What a douche.

Victor said...

What a charmer!

J@v@JuNKo said...

wow, i'm speechless of how creepy this guy is and what a loser he sounds like. I hardly believe that he's been single for only 4 months, his long distance relationship probably consisted of some woman that wouldn't tell him where she lived but they had cyber sex together.

Sam said...

My favorite part was at the end when he said if she had some terrible mental disorder that kept her from calling him, "that's fine but otherwise don't call." Shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't know about the rest of you, but I generally like to avoid potential dates with mental disorders.