Page 1 Consider (03/18)

Pot Calling the Kettle African-American: Rapper DMX is fine with gangs, drugs and prisons -- and a female presidential candidate doesn't seem to faze him either. But a guy named Barack? Fo shiz? "What the fuck is a Barack?!" he demanded without even a hint of irony during a recent Q&A with hip-hop mag XXL. "Where he from, Africa?" (DailyIntelligencer)

No District Court Divas: The Supreme Court has nothing better to do than hear cases about complaints against Cher and Nicole Richie? Like we liked paying $250 five times for "farewell tour" tickets or watching "The Simple Life"? (NYT)

America's Next Top Model: Apparently Cindy Crawford has a son and a daughter. I'm not sure which one this is, but (s)he sure is pretty. Love the matching mole -- just like Mommy!! (Dlisted)

The Bitch Is Back (for the Bitch): Elton John is throwing his weave into the world of Democratic politics with a fundraiser concert at Radio City Music Hall for Hillary Rodham Clinton. (AP)

Buried Lede: This article about skating rivals Evan Lysacek and Johnny Weir is just so subtle: One is accused of being robotic and rehearsed. The other is the one doing the accusing — saying “I just don’t like him,” before buttoning his fur coat and grabbing his Louis Vuitton bag. Why didn't the writer just come out and say Weir's a bitchy faggot? (NYT)

Sham-rock? New York City's famed St. Patrick's Day Parade was a roaring affair again this year. But once again gays and lesbians were barred from marching under their own banner, leading some to hold up signs along the way to voice their anger. My boss noted that with the exception of me and one guy "who did it by accident," no one in the office was even wearing green yesterday. It made me kind of sad and got me thinking that as time goes by and each generation is that much more removed from their ancestry, will these parades cease to exist? (Truth be told, I never even knew an actual Walsh from Ireland.) I for one sure hope not. But as the population ages, it sure makes me wonder why the organizers wouldn't be that much more open to people who are proudly Irish, no matter what their sexual orientation is. (Look at this photo from the event, though: are we sure they didn't allow gay-themed floats this year?) (AP)

Book Worms: My favorite sissy from Mississippi, Kevin Sessums, has been nominated for a Lambda Literary Award. Congrats, Kevin! Click on the link for the full list of nominees. (Towleroad)

The Rich Get Richer: It just never ends. When average Americans want health care for everyone the GOP calls it socialism. But when big business needs a bailout (Chrysler, the airlines, and now Bear Stearns) then capitalism suddenly falls by the wayside. (NYT)

Family Jewler: I guess I'd be grabbing my nuts all the time too if I were David Beckham. (Dlisted)

Homo Detour? While the blogosphere is up in arms over wacky Oklahoma State House Rep. Sally Kern's remarks that the "gay agenda" was more threatening to the country than terrorism, rumors began to circulate that her son, a 31-year-old affiliate of the Des Moines School of Metaphysics, was gay. This week, however, Jesse Kern denied those rumors—saying he is not gay, just celibate, which, as I recall, is just a stop before Bisexualville and two stops before Gayland. (GayWired)

Mr. Demi Moore: Matt has Ashton Kutcher's sexy shoot from the just-out issue of Vman. Try as I might, it's hard to dislike that kid. He's smart, gorgeous and funny, and the new sitcom he's producing, "Miss Guided," sounds like a riot. (Although I think I'll pass on that Punk-ing the paparazzi show. Hee-hee! We made them think Avril Lavigne was pregnant. (Um, who gives a fuck?) Do we really need to be given them more attention? (BoyCulture)

Gypsy: Sheryl Crow is joining Fleetwood Mac? (AP)

Coup d'Twat: Both the editor and the publisher who ran Interview magazine for almost two decades will join Conde Nast to help guide one of its fastest-growing businesses, the European editions of Vanity Fair, the company said Monday. Power lesbians Sandra J. Brant and Ingrid Sischy will become international editors of the European Vanity Fairs, their names appearing in each magazine’s masthead just below the top editor’s. Way to go, gals! (NYT)