Friday, February 01, 2008

Inbox


(NOTE: this is an e-mail I received last night from my friend Steve)

From: Saint J
To: Kenneth Walsh
Subject: my cat officially joins the lgbT family.

after tomorrow, i'm going to have a transsexual cat.

poor Loki developed a urinary blockage that's quite common in male cats. luckily, we got him to the vet in time. another 24 hours. and he probably would've had a heart attack & died.

the vet cleared the blockage and told us that if it recurred two more times, she'd recommend surgery to make sure it wouldn't happen again. before we could get him back home, it happened again. so Loki's having the surgery, during which his genitals will be removed (he was already neutered) and an artificial opening will be created for urination.

trannie cat.

and before you even start, spare me the "p---y" jokes. too easy. easier than me at the eagle on a saturday night. ba-dump-bump.

seriously, i am kinda worried, but everyone says it's a pretty routine procedure and he should be fine.

oh yeah, and my dad's in hospital as well.

loving 2008, so far!
S.

4 comments:

Random Thinker said...

hey, hope your dad recovers soon.

Matthew said...

You're SO lucky he lived. This is how my mom's beautiful cat died. 24 hours is an exaggeration—they can die much faster and it's often hard to figure out what's even wrong, they just get lethargic.

Anonymous said...

The dog I had growing up -- a 95-pound Dalmation named Finster, had the same operation. He was totally fine (except for being fat and deaf). However, Finster was referred to by my Dad as "it" rather than "he" from then on.

Anonymous said...

hola everyone,

so far, Loki's doing quite well. my computer room/sanctuary has become HIS domain, complete with two litter boxes, his favorite cat bed, large water dish (sadly, he can't drink from the cat fountain that he's used to because of the cone on his head) and my once-stylish west elm futon transformed into a gigantic stroking area for when visitors come calling.

tonight it was my partner, richard's turn to remove the cone, watch him eat dinner and give him his meds. he then lay on the futon and stroked Loki for a while. (...and i thought i was the only diva in this joint!)

anyway, having the cone off was a great relief and the little guy took a LONG time cleaning himself properly in areas he wasn't able to reach (except for the healing areas, of course). as i type this, he has FINALLY allowed me a moment to give attention to something besides HIM and is napping behind me.

dad's still in hospital and i watched the superbowl with him, biting my tongue in an effort to hold back remarks about those beefy men's butts in tight pants. hike! 20 or 30 naughty text messages later, the giants won!

never thought i'd find myself assisting both my cat AND my dad in eating and peeing on the same day. is this what it means to be a grown-up?

- S.