Charity Begins at Home

There are so many heartbreaking things going on in these photos from the Andre Agassi Charitable Foundation's 12th Annual Grand Slam for Children benefit from earlier this month in Vegas. First off, let me say that I now have a greater appreciation for celebrities who look halfway decent on the red carpet. That said, let's begin:

God knows Steffi Graf never had a bigger fan than yours truly, but what on earth has happened to Stefanie Graf? I guess the curse of the Hot Clairol WTA Calendar never truly goes away, no matter how many years you've been retired. You can almost hear her belittling herself as she tried to get ready for the big night while patient and loyal hubby, Andre Agassi, tries to coax her into settling down and deciding on an outfit. She screams out that she's not even going and he reassures her that she looks great, despite the fact that she looks like a clown in this getup (that flapper hairdo was not the best idea, Stef). Please tell me she doesn't pay a stylist to make her look this way.

Three's Company: Lucky for fraulein Jerry Seinfeld is so ridiculous looking that it draws attention away from her, below

Charleston, Flappers, and Razz-a-Ma-Tazz: This one's gonna cost you a Slam, below left; is Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20 a gnome? Men's Doubles: How the hell did Jim Courier get to be better-looking than Mark Philippoussis? (And where's his "Age of Love" infomercial-order bride? Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid: Daryl Hall and John Oates, below