Monday, October 07, 2024

‘Pissed’ Neko Case Threatens to Bail on Sold-Out Crowd in Tarrytown, N.Y.

UPDATE: The man who was ejected from the show has posted a statement. See what he had to say about the incident at the bottom.

Editor's note: It kind of makes me queasy to even write this because Neko Case is such a wonderful and talented artist, whom I want to believe meant well. (She came into my life at a musically significant time as I was coming to terms with the tragic loss of Kirsty MacColl.) But just as she had a visceral reaction to events at last night's show in Tarrytown, so did I. And I too need to get it off my chest.


What started as a romantic trip out of the city for my husband's birthday -- a walk along the reservoir, dinner at a fancy restaurant, and a concert in quaint Tarrytown -- ended up being a needlessly melodramatic bummer.* 

While enjoying a wonderful meal at Tarry Tavern -- Damian had pumpkin soup and pan-roasted Rohan duck breast while I opted for the honeycrisp apple, endive and blue cheese salad followed by bucatini all' Amatriciana -- we double-checked to see if there was an opening act for Neko Case, whom neither of us had seen in concert before after two decades of fandom of her most famous side project, the New Pornographers. 

Once determining there was, we leisurely had dessert (white chocolate bread pudding) and coffee before heading a few doors down to the Tarrytown Music Hall, a charming venue built in the late 19th century where we had seen Graham Nash years ago, also for Damian's birthday. 

We were very excited!


When we arrived at about 7:20, the opener -- a singer/guitarist and songwriter named Imaad Wasif -- was finishing a cover of Bill Withers's "Ain't No Sunshine," at which point he announced that he was going to "break the fuckin' fourth wall" and jumped down into the audience as he began his next song. 

Damian and I immediately tensed up. Neither of us can even attend drag shows because that type of audience interaction makes us both incredibly uncomfortable, so it was unexpected -- and unnerving -- to have it happening in a seated theater filled with people who were largely over 50. (I've been very open about my battles with social anxiety, for which I take prescription drugs.)


After making his way through the crowd, Wasif eventually stopped for a second near a man and woman in the row directly in front of us, which caused us to further recoil. (At the exact same time a server happened to be bringing drinks to people near us -- which isn't even something typically done at this venue -- further complicating our ability to make sense of what happened next.) 

Wasif then casually walked back to the stage, at which point he blurted out something about just being a “messenger of God” -- and then he started berating “New York” for “doing this to him” as he stormed off, saying he could no longer perform after someone in the crowd was “taking swings” at him. (Others heard him say he'd been "punched" while another person told me Wasif told him after the show that he had been put in a "headlock.") 

Huh?

A few minutes later, the man in the row in front of us was removed -- apparently based on this. Curiously, the security guards hadn't come anywhere near him until after Wasif's meltdown. In fact, Damian recalls that they didn’t come until after Wasif had exited the stage completely, as if it took a while for even them to figure out who was being accused of something. 

Everyone started looking around, completely confused. I asked the people sitting directly next to "the bad guy" what had happened, and they too had no idea. 

Nearly two hours passed with no announcements and no explanation as to what was going on. Easily 90% of the crowd or more had not even a slight clue about the alleged “incident" -- many weren't even there when the opener was on -- as rumors began to swirl that Neko was canceling her performance. 

Groups of people began leaving.


Finally she came out at about 9:10, immediately snapping that she was “fuckin’ pissed” -- and then threatened the crowd that if we "said anything" she would “leave.” (Damian recalls her saying something to the effect of she'd leave "if we did anything shitty.")

Huh? 

Again, most people had little to no idea what was happening -- so another sizable group walked out, understandably offended by this hostile greeting after having waited hours. 

The mood was tense as the band began to play but after a few songs someone tried to lighten things up, by screaming: “We’re sorry about one asshole!” 


Rather than seize the opportunity to make it clear that we were all on the same "side," she seemed even more disgruntled -- reprimanding him, saying that she had asked that no one say anything. (I had been looking forward to this event for months and now felt like I had done something wrong.) 

From there, she finally tried to offer some sort of conciliatory words, explaining that she wasn’t “pissed” at us, she was pissed about being asked to “mask being pissed.” 

I don't think anyone quite understood what that meant. (To me it sounded uncomfortably similar to when Joan Crawford maniacally told daughter Tina in "Mommie Dearest" that she wasn't mad at her, she was "mad at the dirt, as they scrubbed the bathroom tile, Comet flying through the air.) But then Neko added: "That doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy this fucked-up evening.” 

Before long, it became apparent that her decision to not start at the typical time was going to cause the show to be cut short. She then, at last, relayed her first hint of gratitude to a formerly packed house that had been made to feel guilty for giving her money, saying she appreciated that we had "stuck around" for this “fucked-up night” and then signed off, no time for the rest of the set much less an encore due to the curfew. (Grumpiness aside, she sounded great.) 


At this point I don't even think what actually transpired between the opener and the man who was ejected really matters. Eyewitness accounts are notoriously inconsistent. But suffice to say that everyone agrees that no one was "punched" -- which is how it was described on social media last night -- and no one was assaulted. (As I said, security had zero reaction until they were sicced on the guy, and neither we nor the people to the left noticed anything untoward.)

The version I think is most likely came from the two women sitting directly behind the man and the woman he was with who said this: The opener -- who was touching people as he made his way through the crowd and had actually sat on another audience member's lap as he came toward our section -- is said to have reached out to run his hand through the man's hair (or possibly tried to touch his companion) at which point the guy attempted to brush his hand away, with the force an 8-year-old might use on his annoying little brother who won't stop pestering him. 


While I think on paper it’s commendable that Neko stood behind Wasif -- and her being big-sister protective and empathetic (even to a fault) struck me as on brand from what little I know about her -- it seemed cruelly myopic to punish all of her fans present for the behavior of one person. What’s more, she chose to fully accept just one side of the story. (Clearly Wasif sold her a bill of victimhood goods because, frankly, I don't think the guy did anything worthy of ejection.) 

Someone close to the situation told me the band came very near not performing at all, which might have been for the better. I considered following others out but opted to stay -- it was a birthday celebration, after all -- and it ended up feeling like a rushed and joyless affair that only went on because she couldn't afford (monetarily) not to go through with it -- for reasons that still are not clear. (The guy had been evicted!) 

I was also told that it's "worth knowing" that "you don't always know what someone's going through and what it takes to go on. One thing can trigger another thing can trigger another thing."

I couldn't agree more, which is why I don’t fault the crowd -- not there to see Wasif -- that sat politely during his performance and clapped after each song. We lived up to our end of the bargain. (No one jumped on the stage and got in his face.) Plus it cuts both ways. Wasif had no idea what the audience members were going through or what it took for him and his companion to travel to the show, so trying to touch him (or them) without consent hardly seemed well-advised. One would think someone as seemingly sensitive as Neko Case would be appreciative of that fact -- surely she understands the importance of respecting people’s boundaries and the meaning of consent -- rather than taking it out on a crowd of people who adore her.


The onus isn’t on the audience to be an interactive part of a show. But if a performer chooses to go down that road, it's very easy to tell who is game. If someone isn’t -- even if they’re not “nice” about it -- a professional simply moves on. What a professional doesn't do is throw a tantrum on stage and poison the entire event for the person kind enough to ask them to provide support. 

Worth noting that we heard that the police were called but Wasif declined to speak with them. Make of that what you will.

*Free album title.


In happier times ...


UPDATE: Although it's helpful that the man at the center of the incident has spoken out, you really didn't even need the details for it to be abundantly clear that the situation was horrifically mishandled. 

Here's what he posted on Reddit: 
Hey, I’m the guy who got ejected last night and I just want to set the record straight about exactly what happened between me and Imaad. My wife has trauma related anxiety about being touched by strange men, she was sitting on the aisle next to me during Imaad’s performance. As he approached us I saw my wife getting uncomfortable because she didn’t want to be touched by him. I reached my arm across her and was trying to make a barrier between him and her while also shaking my head no and trying to convey that we didn’t want him to approach. He grabbed my arm and leaned across my wife to sing directly into my face, I extended my arm to create distance between us and told him to go away. He got visibly upset when I did this, got even closer to me and said “what the fuck bro I’m your friend”. At this point I extended my hand again to create space between us and raised my voice and told him to get the fuck away from us, which he did. After this was when he got back on stage, said I tried to punch him (I never did) and that he could no longer continue. Security ushered me out and police arrived immediately. I relayed my side of the story but nobody from Imaad’s side was willing to come out and speak to the cops and so I was just told to leave. I don’t hold anything against the venue or the police, they were just responding to what Imaad accused me of. I do think that he’s unfit to be on tour right now and to me it looks like he needs help which I hope he finds. 
To be my most charitable, I can understand Imaad's being momentarily taken aback, although I stand by the notion that the fourth wall should be kept intact. (You know how this could have been avoided? Stay on the stage.) But once someone signals they’re not wanting to play along, why are you forging ahead? Why are you trying to cajole him? Move on. (And why are you being so aggressive to begin with?) Then to paint yourself as the victim and storm off the stage? That's a bit much for even the most seasoned drama queen. As I wrote the other day, it was a needlessly melodramatic bummer. 


UPDATE 2: A reader just wrote to say:
In the same thread a bit later, he stated that he was in contact with the venue. They reviewed SECURITY CAMERA FOOTAGE, which corroborated his account of the incident. They refunded his and his wife’s tickets to the show AND offered him free tickets to any show of his choice in the future. He also said the venue apologized and told him that they were wrong for ejecting him. 
I haven't been able to independently verify that the posts were written by the guy, although I have no reason to think otherwise.


Out of curiosity, I wrote to Tarrytown Music Hall to see what they would say. They confirmed that no one was "assaulted" and said they would get in touch with me regarding other questions I have. Later I got a message that was as thoughtful as it was revealing. The gentleman offered to give us a refund, but pointed out it wouldn't come out of Neko's pocket, so of course I wasn't interested. He reiterated that the security footage backed up the guy's story, going so far as to say: "In my opinion, the only one close to assaulting anyone was Imaad himself." Suffice to say the venue handled the incident far better than any of the talent did. 

Interesting to see that Imaad Wasif isn't the opening act for the Neko Case show at Strathmore in North Bethesda, Md., as planned. He's been replaced by Lucy Wainwright Roche. 


UPDATE 3: And now it seems he's been removed from the rest of the tour. I would like to think Neko finally got the full story and made this decision, but I'm not sure we'll ever know for sure. (He posted this then removed it, which seems on brand.) My friend saw it and said: “Circumstances out of his control” = “I got fired”!

22 comments:

Star Witness said...

I was a few rows back. This analysis is spot on. The most the audience member did was swat his hand aside. Neko Case, who we all traveled to see on a Sunday night, assumed the worst and ruined it for everyone. For no reason. Truly classless.

JFM said...

Super weird! I agree with you that it doesn't sound like she handled it well at all. I mean, even if the one guy HAD done something untoward — which sounds very up for debate — you don't penalize a whole theater of fans who paid money to come see you.

Bad Luck said...

Thanks for writing about this. I was there last night and the whole situation was so cursed. The opener guy was off the rails. I was *so* disappointed by Neko’s comments when she finally came on. A misunderstanding between two dudes—the opener and an audience member—completely fucked the show for everyone. And she did not handle it well. My wife and I have been listening to her for close to 20 years and have seen her 5-6 times and this was an enormous disappointment.

Hold On Hold On said...

Thanks for writing about this. Imaad Wasif was the source of all that went wrong with this show. His commentary between songs felt aggressive, and at times he seemed upset he wasn’t getting some specific desired reaction from the audience. He seemed to have an outsized image of himself. “I’m going to break the fourth wall!” Really? No one wants you to. Please stay on stage, dude. The fact that he thought it was cool to walk through the crowd and touch people, sing in people’s faces, and sit in laps all show that he mistook himself for a headliner. It was presumptuous.

It’s not surprising, given his apparent narcissistic streak, that he (i) chucked a tanty as soon as someone (rightfully) asked him to please back away, (ii) went on to melodramatically characterize that interaction as being attacked or as someone “taking swings” at him, (iii) announced to the crowd like a petulant child that he wasn’t going to sing anymore before stomping off stage.

My guess is he went backstage and immediately engaged in the same hysterics in front of Case, claiming that a man in the crowd and taken swings at him.

While I understand Case’s urge to protect and side with her fellow performers and tour mates in any conflict with a venue or the audience, I don’t think that justified making the audience wait over an hour before coming out and then doing so only to chastise them for something none of them did. Wasif’s unearned familiarity with the audience and bizarre stage antics were the sole causes of trouble.

I feel sad about the show and embarrassed to be treated like that by Case, someone I’ve loved and lauded for over two decades.

In any event, if Wasif wasn’t such an out-of-touch weirdo (see: his entire image/persona) who thought it was his right to treat Neko Case’s crowd like it’s his own, we might have all had a nice evening and a lovely show.

Alan Bennett Ilagan said...

I read this, feeling as disturbed as everyone else, until I hit the end. 'In happier times' had me roaring, so thank you for that!

Krys Fox said...

Oh babe. That sounds awful! I'm sorry, but damn you're a great writer!

LJS said...

Wasif is just shy of 47 years old, yet not reading the room any better than that? Yikes. (The rest of your day sounds wonderful, though, Kenneth!)

Bob C., Rockaway, NJ said...

Thanks for posting this, especially as you were closer to the "action". I was on the other side of the orchestra and didn't know what had really happened. I'm a fan of Neko and of the Music Hall, and thought it seemed way out of character for anyone at the venue to punch a performer. I knew Neko Case to be capable of being a scold, and decided to cut my losses and bail an hour after the Imaad incident. I'm glad I did, because her set turned out just as I would have imagined. I'll see if I can get a refund or credit towards another show.

Bob C., Rockaway, NJ said...

Sometimes it's best to keep the fourth wall intact.

Hell-On said...

I am also so happy to have this published. I am a huge fan of Neko. I still am. Her voice is incredible and has haunted me since I first saw her in Texas on Valentine’s day 2003. I brought my 13 year old daughter to the show to see a powerful female artist. When Wasif came into the crowd to “break down the 4th wall” I was immediately nervous that he would touch my child. He sat on the lap of the man behind me. An opening act (or arguably no one without consent) should not demand this type of interaction. It was wildly inappropriate and I am surprised that Neko couldn’t see through what I’m imagining was a huge display of victimization backstage.

Ex-Fan said...

Similar situation. Brought my 12 year old ASD son to the show and my wife, who was recovering from MAJOR surgery, but you wouldn’t know it from looking at her. Had he sat on either of their laps, or touched them without consent, it could have been a very bad situation. I was worried about this as he got closer and closer - we were near the aisle, 4 rows back from the audience member in question. Case’s behavior was so childish and immature. Sounded like a tween using profanity to try to sound adult. And Wasif was throwing out the F bomb as if he was trying as hard as he could to prove he was a real rock star. I guess he had to since his musical talent definitely was not going to earn him the title. I expected him to get fired from the tour, not for her to come out all guns blazing. We were part of that sizable group that walked out after her initial comment. We were proud of all those who left with us- while we left with disgust, we retained our dignity.

Comment from an occupant said...

I follow her Substack casually and girl has major depression. She should not be on the road but I guess she’s got to make a living.

Hold On Hold On said...

Yes, I imagine Wasif did put on an unwarranted but huge display of victimization.

People Got a Lotta Nerve said...

Thank you for writing this. I too was at the show and agree with everything you said. We were in the balcony so couldn’t see what had happened. Thanks for clarification.

Fox Confessor said...

This captures my experience so exactly. Thanks for writing and sharing. I’m still feeling upset days after the show. As a woman who also has a history of trauma, I got super queasy when Imaad, who was clearly not in control of himself (either from drugs he has a history of abusing or his own psychological issues), came into the crowd (we were in row C in the center section, aisle seats). I told my spouse, “Please God no. He needs to stay on stage.” I didn’t see what happened at the back of the theater, and my desire not to be a racist made me blame the white dude audience member instinctively—until I realized after a few minutes that I might be being gaslit. That Neko would seemingly participate in this gaslighting made me really sad. I’d like to hear from her about what happened, from her perspective. Maybe she was pissed at Imaad for being such a prick. Maybe she know feels guilty for allowing herself to be gaslit. Who knows. But I learned a lot this week about my standards for performances—next time, I will listen to my gut and have some self-respect about knowing when it’s ok just to call it a night and leave.

Blacklisted said...

Now I know why the New Pornographers have such a hard time staying together! I stuck it out but was appalled at Neko’s attitude. So immature. I was a two decades long fan. Not anymore.

Middle-Row Cyclone said...

I was at the concert.. and also felt I was being punished. Neko Case is my favorite artist ever and I was so looking forward to the Tarrytown show. It was such a let down. She sounded great, but her heart was not in it. I have seen her 6 times before. On that night she was just going through the motions until the hour was up. I am sure Neko Case thought she was defending Imaad because Lord knows what he claimed happened. (Neko also has a personal history of fans behaving badly -- she has had to defend herself against a stalker.) The big BOOOOO of the night goes to Imaad who I spoke with after the concert. Imaad told me he was "put in a chokehold" by an audience member. HUH? I thought you said you were punched? Dude I am not sure you will ever be let up on stage again but if you are so lucky, don't get off. Oh, and grow up.

Her Ex-Boyfriends said...

Neko was rude and childish. I’ve loved her music but I don’t deserve to be shit on no matter what she is upset about. She could have really turned it into something else, maybe saying that we all have to respect one another and let’s support one another. But no. She swore and threatened us. We walked out.

I hear that she is depressed and had a hard life. You know what? So did many of her fans who came to their beloved favorite musician’s concert to connect. Instead she alienated herself from her fan base and was insulting. Gross.

Things That Scare Me?!? said...

Thank you for writing this, you’ve done an excellent job. My partner and I were sitting two rows behind this interaction and all I saw was a lot of contact between the ejected audience member and Imaad Wasif. Although I don’t suffer from social anxiety, I myself felt nervous that all eyes would be on me should this guy interact with me (I was in the aisle seat) and he was getting closer. It never dawned on me that all the people that arrived after the opener had left the stage, really had no idea what had happened. I agree with your excellent post and many of the comments here. After the ejection, I said to my partner “no matter what happened, we will all be punished for it”, I had seen Neko very angry before. In 2009, Neko left the stage in Montclair, NJ after maybe 45 minutes or so because she and her band kept getting electric shocks. That is something the crowd could/did understand and rightfully blamed the venue, but this experience left us feeling like we really did not matter to her. I love Neko, but this was not a good look at all. If an artist thinks F.U., I will do what I want, we as the ticket buying public are liable to think the same.
p.s. - You two guys are a cute couple! Thank you!

The Worse Things Got said...

I was there with no idea of what happened but was so pissed and disappointed. Talk about being incredibly unprofessional. After being in the biz for so long, Neko should know better. The least she could do is publish an apology but from her Tarrytown behavior, i doubt she has those capabilities as a human being.

The Ex-Virginian said...

Thank you so much for writing this and for being a forum for comments. I agree with all that has been said, which echoes my own experience of that night, as well as my own perception of what occurred. I am trying to find some grace in my heart for Neko, who I have enjoyed musically since her days of Neko Case and her Boyfriends. I was completely flabbergasted by what happened and don’t know if I can ever listen to her music with the same good feeling again (as she basically said a big F-you to all of us who travelled far, paid money and wasted a Sunday night to attend that particular show).

One of a Kind Solomon said...

Kenneth, thanks for posting & all the commentary. I was in balcony not really paying attention til I heard what sounded like an angry "I'm going to break the fuckin' fourth wall" which instantly put me in warning lights on mode. Next few minutes a not so comfortable puzzle especially when the jerk returned to stage. I stuck for the whole show hoping for a turnaraound that never seemed to happen. I didn't know or understand the whole episode til now so thank you & rIght on to all the narrative/comments above. The bright light of the night & big positive shout out to Lindsay the new bass player. Apparently so new she learned bass and the songs that evening & did damn good job of it. Trial by fire I guess...! Go Lindsay!