Monday, December 06, 2021

Not Just Not One of the Guys


A friend of mine just dug up videos from our high school. See what I was dealing with HERE.

P.S. I've been having a nice online chat with this old friend and it's been eye-opening. To this day, people look at me like I have two heads when I tell them I never attended a single dance, football game, or any school-related activity when I was in high school -- but it was really quite simple: Why would I have gone out of my way to put myself in a(nother) position for some jocks to call me a faggot or sucker punch me, which I got enough during actual school? I was fortunate in that I had my close group of friends, with whom I hung out -- as far away from Dobson as possible. (And then it got WAY BETTER!)

What surprised me is that my friend, who was a beauty and a cheerleader, had a harrowing experience in her own right. Although she concedes she had some good times, she says the rest was spent "protecting and defending" herself from boys "who thought they were entitled to stalk, hunt and pounce." She wrote: "I have unbelievable stories, seriously ...unbelievable." (Yikes.) 

I've often compared high school to what goes on in prison: You're all in this shitty situation together, yet for some reason the inmates have to go out of their way to make it shittier for one another. Never understood that mentality and never will. 


Randy Slovacek said...

I think we both feel the same about our high school years. My class recently held its 40th reunion. You wouldn't believe the number of people reaching out on social media asking if I was going to attend. Why would I spend $$$ to see folks who tormented me during high school? I'm in touch with a small group of folks from back then who were (and are) good people. But submitting ourselves to even more bad behavior than we already received? Lord, no.

Myk said...

No one tormented me in high school without receiving a verbal slap down to end all slap downs. I was "the Yankee" in a Houston high school in the 70s. I was as polite as I felt I could afford to be, but when the bubbas got kinetic, they were totally unprepared for verbal warfare. I doubt anyone will miss me at the 50th reunion in 2023.

John said...

You are not alone. I never went to any HS event. I never went to all sport events as well.
My husband (28 years) had a completely different experience. He was super active all through his HS years. When we go to visit his hometown, we still get together with his HS friends. So I guess it works both ways.
I don’t regret my experience because once I got to college, I found my friends. I turned 60 this year and don’t regret a thing.
Nice piece.

VRCooper said...

I graduated in 1976-flunked 2nd grade. I was invisible in high school. I never went to a dance, sporting event, or any other curricular activities. I never dated or kissed a girl. Why would I want to? This prompted a question from my father when I was a senior. Was I gay? The answer was no. No confessions from me. I knew very few people. Count them on one hand. I knew I was gay in elementary school. I just did not know how to go about it and was afraid that it would get back to my father. Not afraid of him but the fact I would have to explain. That was not going to happen. I went to military schools-AF brat-until my junior year. I could graduate at the junior level if I took driver's ed at night with the drunks which I did anyway because it was only offered to sophomores. I opted to complete my senior year because I wanted to work in the hospital for credits and this was only offered to seniors to give them a choice of which field of work they wanted to try out before moving on in life. I came on campus in the afternoons and completed my government course. I was constantly asked if I was a new student. Yea, high school was a blur. If I knew what I knew now, I would be dangerous-i.e. a whore. But then again HIV/AIDS was just around the corner.

Blobby said...

I never went to one school event that wasn't mandatory (i was in concert band and cross country) - AND it was an all boy's school. I have ZERO friends from high school bc I had zero friends IN high school. I had friends - they just didn't go where I did.

You compare high school to prison. I compare adult life to an extension of high school. People still tear each other down to get ahead or to feel like they are. A zero sum game - if someone has power, it means someone lost it. Or took it.

Steve Reed said...

I don't think I ever went to a football game (because WHO CARES). I did go to a couple of dances, usually with girls who were friends of mine, but I never went on my own. Having a "beard" offered a bit of protection! Hope you're doing well, K!