Although little has been widely reported about her earliest years, Elizabeth was said to be a flamenco dancer and accomplished artist -- and described by some as a philosopher and scholar. When she was "barely 17," she married George MacLean, a noted architect in Hollywood, and then three years later gave birth to Bryan, weeks shy of her 21st birthday. In 2008, Elizabeth told an interviewer (from whom I borrow liberally here) that her father had been an artist and her mother had been on the stage. As such, Elizabeth sought to provide a similar setting for her own progeny in which to grow up.
"I was not long after picked up from school by an older friend I looked up to and brought to a meeting where my mother was waiting with her prayer circle to cast demons of homosexuality from me. That same mother trained me to believe that my value as a woman was calibrated by my willingness and ability to be desired by powerful men. I sought men in relationships to feel safe and complete. I stayed faithful in a decades long hetero marriage because I am loyal. .... When I began to allow myself the freedom to see beyond that union and developed feelings for and relationships with women, it felt like I was truly loving for the first time."
In an interview with Charles Donovan for Record Collector, she said:
“It’s very hard to shake the internal homophobia when you have a very vivid memory like that. My mother, I believe, was a closeted lesbian. She confessed as much to me but never acted on it.” She suspects that the same may be true of her maternal grandmother. McKee’s upbringing in Los Angeles was a confusing mix of bohemia and evangelism. “I always saw my mother as someone who didn’t adhere to the rules of society and yet was a fundamentalist Christian. Having married at 17 and then again at 21, she taught me you needed a man to take care of you, to guide you, to help you financially, to desire you. That conditioning is hard to shake.”
Bryan's ego and substance use (after his band broke up his life devolved into "an extended lost weekend, replete with drug overdoses and felony arrests"), Maria's rising success (complicated by her mother's attempts to bully her songwriting daughter into recording Bryan's material) -- “My whole Lone Justice experience triggered his psychosis. He’d always assumed the role of my mentor musically and when I broke free from him, he didn’t take it well”-- and Elizabeth's ineffectual attempts at parenting eventually led to her spending the final four years of Bryan's life continuing to try to "rescue" him while Maria opted to stay away. (MacLean died of a heart attack in a restaurant bathroom on Christmas Day 1998 at just 52.)
Last night I talked to my Mother in prayer. “What do you want?” I asked “Peace”, she replied. “Well you should let go now because it could be horribly uncomfortable for you if you become sicker. I know you can do it.” I said. “I love you, Maria,” she said. Rest in love, Elizabeth Le Prevost Ménager McKee, October 9, 1925-February 1st, 2021🙏❤️🙏
And then a couple days later she wrote this:
So I guess I need to talk about “complicated grief”. The death of a parent is indeed profound. I have experienced it once before. And when it is the human who gave you life, it is next level impact. But for children of family trauma and abuse, parental relationships are often fraught with terror, rage and ambivalence. We set boundaries with our parents that most people don’t understand as a response to betrayals that the average person couldn’t begin to fathom. When these betrayals are exacted by a unique and remarkable human being who also lavished untold gifts, it leaves one with a very fractured understanding of “love”. When my mother was still able to see me, we made our peace. That was four years ago, I took a lock of her hair for my altar and never looked back. As her quality of life diminished, I have been longing for her to find rest ever since. So with her passing comes a breathless relief. As many project their sorrow and fear regarding the death of a parent during this era of prodigious elder mortality, I need to hold space for myself to forgive my feelings of lightness and freedom. Without guilt, without shame. I know this will resonate with many of you and I thank you. Bless🙏🕊🙏Artist, Welder Wings
Read about Maria's later-in-life rebirth as a dyke and queer godmother of sorts HERE.
1 comment:
wow. Had zero knowledge of McKee and MacLean were related. Thx.
Post a Comment