Perhaps psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey was a tad bit tone deaf when he used the example of "landing a regional commercial when a friend booked a recurring role on 'True Blood'" (!) while offering insight about gay men's tendency to compare themselves to each other, and how it can lead to feeling inadequate. (neatly packaged as "Compare and Despair/") But the comments on Towleroad -- including one about the therapist who killed himself -- are so vicious, they make "The Boys in the Band" sound like an episode of "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman."
The first thing this guy should do to be taken seriously on this topic is stop wearing a form-fitting shirt with an open collar. To lecture gay men about trying too hard by yourself trying too hard is laughable. Also: it's easy to lecture other gay men about loving yourself when you look like an underwear model and don't experience the widespread rejection a lot of gay men (all people, really) experience. I'll bet this Dempsey guy hasn't been ignored by a bartender in a gay bar in years. It's a nice effort if taken at face value. Something about it rings...if not phony, then unrealistic. POSTED BY: JSE | AUG 7, 2013 12:18:13 PM
So a "hot" (well, except for the eyelid-drooping bit and the narcissism) "psychologist" tries to get all the not-so-hot and insecure gays in his vicinity to sign up as his clients. This way you get to ogle him during the session AND you get a free sympathy pat on the back by the hot guy in the end. God this is lame. POSTED BY: CT | AUG 7, 2013 1:30:06 PM
"I'll bet this Dempsey guy hasn't been ignored by a bartender in a gay bar in years." Is that really a thing? I mean, I've been to a lot of gay bars (accusations of functioning alcoholic have been levied my way), and it really doesn't work that way. When a bar is crowded, bartenders typically start at one end, work their way down, and rotate back to the start. If you want to get their attention, you could hold a large bill (bartenders are, after all, working for tips) or you could at some point simply ask them their name and try being friendly. It very rarely has anything to do with looks. I'm not saying you're not ugly. But maybe you're impatient and an a--hole, too. POSTED BY: CRISPY | AUG 7, 2013 12:30:24 PMRead 'em and weep HERE.
5 comments:
I'm sorry, it's not being Joan Crawford to point out that the video is ridiculous. Go ahead, find another "legitimate" therapist posting a video on youtube with cheesy background music and banal stock images like that...that quotes its own creator in the closing. Guess what...you won't. A few tweaks and it would make a good SNL skit.
Either he is clueless or he understands the territory -- it's his business after all. Regardless, I'll pas on taking any advice from such a superficial narcissist. Real men of character who are healthy in every way are the hottest in my book.
I stopped reading the comments on Towleroad long ago. The hate and bitchiness is as bad as that of Wing Nut Daily, or whatever it's called. Some gays--some people--seem to have a need to trash anyone who stands out in any way.
Towleroad itself is a great blog. I've sometimes wondered how Andy Towle feels about his sad and creepy commenters. I suspect they embarass and depress him.
First of all, the ONLY reason that Andy posted that video is because Matthew is incredibly good looking. If he were a bald 60-year old, I guarantee that no one would have given that amateurish video a second-glance. So let's be honest here.
Secondly, I find it very hard to believe that a man that looks like a GQ model with a $200 haircut would have issues of self worth when it comes to relating to other gay men. He clearly has no point of reference to work from -- I seriously doubt that Matthew is going to date a man that's only a 5 out of 10 on the 'good looks' scale.
I think it's especially telling when his example consists of starring in a TV commercial or landing a spot on True Blood. Neither of which is relatable to 99.999% of the populous. So, yes, I am annoyed by his simplistic blathering about gay men feeling bad about their self-image, coming from someone that has never felt that way.
Pay for a real gay therapist and discover your goals.
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