This isn't too far from what my friend Christopher recently witnessed, which he was convinced had to be performance art.
He writes: The crown goes to this pig, who combines the revolting mouth noises of apple eating with the stench of peanut butter in a crowded subway car. Good thing she's got a utensil to scrape out the crunchy PB scum. She actually took out a second apple when she was done with this one but I spared you. The soundtrack is purely to mask intimate subway conversation being held next to her, because non-pigs deserve privacy.