The Flame Monster

So often, I find the problem with Lady Gaga and Madonna before her -- (cough) "Nightline" circa 1990 -- is that after they complete one of their "provocative" spiels, they go and ruin it by opening their mouths trying to make it into something more "artistic" and "meaningful" than what it really was.

The day after Lady Gaga appeared in a meat dress at the VMAs, she told Ellen DeGeneres that she wasn't making a statement about vegetarians with her get-up. Instead, she explained it was about gay rights in the military ... or something.

"If we don't stand up for what we believe in and if we don't fight for our rights, pretty soon we're going to have as much rights as the meat on our own bones," she said. "And I am not a piece of meat."

Huh?

What you're doing for DADT is admirable, Stef, but you're not kidding anyone on this one. You wore the dress 'cause you knew it would shock people and we'd all talk about it. Period. I have to admit that I didn't even notice the gown's "material" when you were on TV -- my box has an 11-inch screen -- but you can sleep tonight knowing that everyone -- including me! -- is talking about you now. God help us all when Anna Wintour is the rational one in the room.