Page 1 Consider (03/5)

Bitch Slapped: The taxonomy of bitches, as seen through the eyes of a very wise third grader. (And I Am Not Lying)

Girlschooled: I hate music festivals (too much sitting through bands you don't want to see to see not enough of the bands you want to see). But if the Go-Go's, Bangles and Kelly Clarkson are really on board for Lilith Fair 2010, will I have to succumb? (BeatCrave)

This Means Nothing to Me: Wow. This photo of "Bachelor" Jake Pavelka in a mock turtleneck with his mock fiance, Vienna, may just have killed my crush on him for good. (E!Online)

Type O Personality: John F. Kerry called today for the Food and Drug Administration to lift a “discriminatory” ban on gay men donating blood. Kerry was one of 18 senators -- 17 Democrats and one independent -- who sent a letter to FDA Commissioner Margaret Hamburg, urging her to lift the lifetime ban on men who have engaged in homosexual relationships since 1977. The FDA defended the ban and so does Michael, who won't even donate blood for his OWN physical. (Boston)

Paging Kirby Dick: Knock me over with a feather, boys. State Sen. Roy Asbhurn, a Republican from Bakersfield who has voted against every gay rights measure since he took office eight years ago was charged with driving under the influence on Wednesday, after leaving a gay nightclub in Sacramento. I'm sure his fellow gay citizens AND his four children forgive him. (FoxNews)

Murder in the O.C.: A man accused of raping and murdering a 23-year-old Huntington Beach man told his former boss at an amateur gay porn company that he liked to pick up young men in San Diego, drug them, and have sex with them, the City News Services reported. Billy Sharrock testified Wednesday during a preliminary hearing that Philong Huynh liked heterosexual guys because they were "more of a challenge," the report said. The similarities between this case and the murder of an acquaintance of mine from San Diego are stunning. Are you reading this, Paul? (OCR)

Park and Ride: People are wondering why the decision to close 13 highway rest stops in Arizona has been met with more anger than other cost-cutting moves, but the answer is obvious to me. Where else can all of those Republicans who voted for a constitutional ban against same-sex marriage go for anonymous sex with other men? (NYT)

Cut to the Chase: What, now you're saying it's illegal to perform circumcisions at home? I hope Tim Tebow knows about this. (Advocate)

Viva El Amor! Throngs of Mexico City gay and lesbian couples registered for marriage licenses Thursday, the day Latin America's first gay-marriage law took effect. The first gay weddings will take place within a week to 10 days, after the paperwork is processed. (AP)