Page 1 Consider (03/17)

'Mountain' Out of a 'Mo Hill: The Rock's update of the classic Disney "Witch Mountain" movies captured the No. 1 spot at the box office this weekend. But it's the original stars -- Kim Richards and Ike "Is there any way I'm not gay?" Eisenmann -- who have a cameo in the kiddie flick that I'm most interested, and it seems I'm not alone. (LA Times)

Meet the Parents: The world's most ridiculously beautiful couple -- well, now that John Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn Bessette are no longer with us -- Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen, were spotted easting Mister Softee (a nickname some of you called the shirtless QB HERE) cones down in the supermodel's native Brazil. I wouldn't exactly call being inspected by Bundchen Brady a honeymoon, but Tom doesn't seem to mind. (Boston)

Amen to That: Not all African-Americans agree about this, but the chairman of the NAACP thinks gay rights are civil rights. (Towleroad)

Sticky Subject: Vermont lawmakers are starting a week of hearings on a bill to legalize same-sex marriage. (AP)

Death Becomes Him: Funnyman Bruce Vilanch serves up some travel tips for Passport magazine that are as offbeat as his sense of humor. In Los Angeles he recommends taking a tour of famous gravesites and places where murders occurred and celebs died (See Dearly Departed: The Tragical History Tour): "It used to be called the Grave Line Tour. You would go in a hearse and they would drag you around and show you where John Belushi overdosed and Jean Harlow died and as an extra bonus you got to go to Grauman’s Chinese Theater and they would hose down Natalie Wood’s footprints and you could put your feet in her wet imprints. Try doing that at the MGM Theme Park." (Passport)

Fun Girl Three: Somebody get Mark LeGault on the horn ASAP: Pat Benatar, Blondie and the Donnas are on one concert bill together! Too bad it's in Pennsylvania ... (MCALL)

Love Will Tear Us Apart: The Washington Post editorial board says Congress should pass an act to allow gay and lesbian citizens the same right to sponsor committed same-sex partners for U.S. citizenship that heterosexual citizens already enjoy as a benefit of federal marriage. (WashPost)

The Thong Song: Sascha Baron Cohen's Bruno is up to his old tricks again, this time with the Alabama National Guard. (NYP)

Pinkwater: Copies of an online petition electronically signed by 46,000 people has been hand-delivered to the Washington, D.C., offices of Kirkland & Ellis where Ken Starr is counsel, blasting him for his Prop 8 lies. (365Gay)

Sex, Murder and Videotape: Harlow Cuadra (upper left and far right), who was convicted last week for the 2007 murder of gay porn producer Bryan Kocis (lower left), was sentenced on Monday to life in prison without parole. (Advocate)

Health Crisis: A new report by D.C. health officials says that at least 3 percent of residents in the nation's capital are living with HIV or AIDS and every mode of transmission is on the rise. (NYT)

Will N.Y. Cool His Jets? Denver Broncos QB Jay Cutler does not like being dissed, y'all. (NYT)

RIP: Bishop Melvin E. Wheatley, who risked censure in the United Methodist Church for appointing his denomination's first openly gay pastor in 1982, died March 1 in Mission Viejo after a lengthy illness, a church spokesman said. He was 93. (LAT)