Friday, February 13, 2009

'Progressive' Aging

Well, I turned yet another corner into old age yesterday when I got my first pair of bifoc---, I mean "progressive" lenses. To say I DESPISE wearing glasses is a vast understatement, but after a glorious run in the contact lens department (1993-2003) my eyes simply gave out. It wasn't that my prescription was no longer suitable (it was perfect for it, in fact, as I'm far-sighted and could wear a mild +1.75 to be able to read without interfering with my distance). My right eye just rebelled on me and the mere mention of a contact would cause it to ooze, water and turn red. As I enter the Progressive Age, I can't help but smile thinking about how I used to wear fake glasses all the time in high school because I thought they looked so cool. By the time I turned 24, I had my first "real" pair, but really only wore them when I felt like it. By my late 20s I needed them, so immediately got contacts. Since then it's been a revolving door of frames that I've never really liked. From my perspective, no matter what you do, the glasses just become too much the focus of anybody's face. (I happen to like my face just fine without some big decoration on it!) You either look like you're trying too hard, or you like you're too serious -- or most of the time, a little of both. But as much as I hate wearing glasses, I REALLY LOVE being able to see. So while I'm not thrilled with my latest frames (they're nearly identical to the ones I've been wearing since I turned 40 only a little more narrow), this bottom reading lens (with an extra +1.25) is about the greatest thing ever! I found out just how great when I was actually able to read the paper on the subway platform last night after work without standing directly under one of the lights. (I know, I probably needed these a year or two ago!) So for now, I'm as happy as I "can" be. Let's just hope that weird spot on my left retina doesn't turn out to be anything serious (going to the specialist later in the month).

My favorite fakes, 1985; right: my first real glasses, 1992

These tortoise shell frames weren't too bad, until Michael lit them on fire with a candle! (2004); right: I bought these thinking they were black and got home and realized they were blue, which matched my ego perfectly after realizing I was the new Sally Jesse Raphael

Would you believe it's the circle dot and NOT that weird bulge that has the optometrist "concerned"? He says it stares back at him like a piece of glitter. Eat your heart out, Jake Shears!

15 comments:

Rnormfoto said...

i got my first 'progressives' a couple of years back---sort of terrifying - isn't it?

Anonymous said...

After wearing glasses and contact lenses like forever, 3 years ago I went the LAZIK route. It's the best thing ever.

I love driving without glasses/lenses ... and dancing without anything in my eyes is fantabulous!

Ken: you must go LAZIK if you want to show your face and more.

FunMe

Dave said...

Not to worry, Kenneth - the glasses look great. You are adorable as ever ;-)

I had Lasik - and it's great - but you will still need reading glasses for presbyopia (there's no treatment for that yet).

Scott said...

They look great!

nojarama said...

Eye cancer? That's Hil-AR-ious! Just kidding! I'm sorry, I couldn't resist!

Caleb said...

...Puts on Optometrist Hat...

Besides needing reading glasses, another reason why LASIK wouldn't be a great idea is that you're eye is reacting poorly to contacts. LASIK would dry that eye out more, so there's a greater chance you wouldn't be satisfied.

RE: The retinal photo...What we're most concerned about in the back of the eye is change. Something that could be a symptom of a disease in someone else could be a normal variation for you. So, they'll check on it, maybe run an OCT , and know to watch out in the future. I don't think they'll have to take the eye. ;-}

Luc said...

They look great, Ken! And you look as cute as ever! :)
Luc

Marc Lallanilla said...

Thank you for easing my progression to bifocals -- my optometrist appointment is next Thursday. It only sucks to get older when you consider the alternative.

Michael said...

I like the new glasses! You'll simply have to live with the fact that you're a cutie, whether you have glasses or not!

MDinSF said...

I agree. The circled area is much more curious, IMHO.

Anonymous said...

I hate my progressive lens. I had tri-focal non-progressive lens in my last glasses (middle lens for computer) and I liked them so much better. When I get my next prescription filled, I am not getting progressive lens. I don't care what they look like. I dislike progressive lens.

John said...

Hi Kenneth, well you do wear them well. I think you look younger in that first picture. You look good in glasses (think Clark Kent : )

Scotty said...

Personally, I think they're quite sexy! :)

John Mc said...

got my first bifocals as well about 2 weeks ago.. Still trying to get used to the blasted things :)

The7thDoctor said...

Looking good, baby.

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