So I'm rushing to work yesterday afternoon, leaving myself my customary 10 minutes to get there. As I get down the stairs of the subway stop on 14th Street, I can hear my train pulling into the station (I'm only going to Times Square, so the A C or E will do). It's nearly 6 p.m. so it's crowded, but there's only one person going through the turnstile I've selected so I know I'm going to make it. I'm in a full-on forward motion when INSUFFICIENT FARE pops up as she slides her card. I can hear the train's doors opening and there's no putting on my brakes, so I literally jump into the next lane and successfully swipe my swipe my card there and slip through. At that exact moment, this elderly woman was attempting to exit through the same turnstile and before I could even think of apologizing for "cutting her off," she turns around and swatted me in the gut with her tote bag -- HARD!!!! She was completely right, but there was no way I could have ever convinced her that I wasn't some rude "punk" and she kept going about her business and so did I. (I swear I ALWAYS let seniors and children go first in virtually any situation.)
When I got down to the subway car I couldn't help but smile, feeling like the anti-Felix Unger, who also took a blow from an old lady only he got it for trying to be helpful. Whoever you are, lady, I just want you to know something: I like your style. I never had a grandmother, but if I had, I'd of wanted her to be just like you.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
She Hit Me (and It Felt Like a Kiss)
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4 comments:
LOL! Kenneth, I like your style. Only you could forgive the old woman that battered you in the NYC subway... LOVES IT!
I think her grandson is the dude who beat up the obnoxious health-club guy. Kenneth, I'm worried...you react to ultra-violence with glee like A Clockwork Orange or something!
LOL I wonder if she reads your blog? or maybe her gay grandson will read it?
This is so funny. Something similar happened to me the other morning walking from my apartment on 16th to the Union Square station. I was walking through the park, there were a lot of people, and all of a sudden I found myself in the path of this old woman. And, man, she was on offense.... with a gleeful curse and a hard grimace, she pushed me out of the way.
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