Tales of a 12th Grade Nothing

Charlie: Kind of young, kind of now

With not enough hours in the day to even begin to make a dent in my own, I've begun to live vicariously through the debut books of others. First my brother Bill got published. Then my friends Johnny Diaz and Frank Anthony Polito. Now my new online pal Drew Ferguson has just hit the scene with his debut novel, "The Screwed Up Life of Charlie the Second," the story of Charlie James Stewart, Jr., a virtual poster boy for teenage geeks everywhere, who can't seem to fit in with his high school peers (even his soccer teammates want nothing to do with him) until a new guy arrives on campus and livens things up -- on and off the field. I recently caught up with the Chicago-based writer to see how he's adjusting to life as a literary darling, his book having just gone into its second printing and all.

KW: Well hello, Drew. Congrats on the success of the book. Please tell my readers a little about it and where you got the idea to write about a geeky Lutheran kid growing up gay in the Midwest. DF: The book's more "American Pie" than "Catcher in the Rye." A friend of mine once bitched that Holden from "Catcher" wasn't a believable character because he never spanked the monkey -- much less thought about it. I kind of took that as a challenge and wanted to see how far you could go in a novel about an out gay teen kid who's something of a misfit. 

KW: You've said it took a few false starts and two years to write the book. Now that it's out, how are you feeling about being a novelist? 

DF: Sick, nervous, frightened, scared -- someone hold me please. Actually, it's kind of fun. It's been an exciting process. 

KW: Better geek: Screech or Napoleon Dynamite? 

DF: Screech. Sure, it turns out that Dustin Diamond's a major ass, but let's face it: Screech was around a lot hotter guys. He stood the better chance of stumbling in on some hot Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Mario Lopez action. At least he did in my imagination. 

KW: Who has a more vivid imagination, Charlie or James "at 15" Hunter? 

DF: Tough one. What my boy Charlie imagines couldn't end up on a '70s TV show or made-for-TV movie. Course, I'm not sure it could end up on either one today. 

KW: What is your daytime job? And what's next for Drew Ferguson the writer? 

DF: I work in the oh-so-sexy field of financial communications -- writing boring fine print things that no one reads except lawyers and eggheads. As for what's next, I've been kicking the tires on another Charlie story. I'm kind of liking the idea of the hijinks a drinking and college-aged Charlie could get into. 

KW: And finally, if Charlie James Stewart II and Band Fag Jack Paterno got into a fight, who would win? 

DF: Jack'd probably kick Charlie's ass. But Charlie would more than likely deserve it. He'd probably have said something super cutting or sarcastic to Jack or better still, Jack'd probably walk in on Charlie and Jack's best friend, Brad, getting all freaky with each other. 

Watch the book's trailer here: