Season Two of Logo's groundbreaking series
"Be Real" premieres tonight at 10 p.m. ET. In the episode, we meet two couples -- one gay, one lesbian -- looking to add a child to their families. Brian and James, a sweet young couple from Redding, Calif., went to their conservative county's foster-to-adopt program, and were placed with a baby girl. While the ever-looming risk of their daughter being taken away is intimidating -- the whole extended family is in love with little Lucca -- when adoption day arrives they are ever more grateful. For Amanda and Rebecca, a close childhood friend has offered to serve as their donor, but insemination is only the beginning. Because they live in Florida -- which we learned via Rosie O'Donnell is not gay-adoption friendly and where second parent adoption is banned -- the gals must find a place they can call home and be recognized as a family, even if it means leaving their heartbroken families behind.
The show is yet another wonderful slice-of-gay-life documentary from Logo, although this subject might not be for everyone. As I was watching it I started to wonder to myself, Is there something wrong with me for
not wanting to have a child? (Now I know how straight couples without kids feel.) Truth be told, in my 40 years on this planet -- half of which as an out gay man -- I am only acquaintances with
one gay guy who has ever opted to have a child and it only happened about a year a half ago (he used his sperm and a donor egg with his sister as the surrogate). I'm also blog pals with one
other. I don't see any harm in spreading the word about the various options there are out there for gays and lesbians, but either this phenomenon is reported more often than it happens, or this baby trend hasn't hit my neck of the woods just yet. Check it out and see if your heartstrings are tugged in unexpected ways ...
Season Two of Logo's groundbreaking series "Be Real" premieres tonight at 10 p.m. ET. In the episode, we meet two couples -- one gay, one lesbian -- looking to add a child to their families. Brian and James, a sweet young couple from Redding, Calif., went to their conservative county's foster-to-adopt program, and were placed with a baby girl. While the ever-looming risk of their daughter being taken away is intimidating -- the whole extended family is in love with little Lucca -- when adoption day arrives they are ever more grateful. For Amanda and Rebecca, a close childhood friend has offered to serve as their donor, but insemination is only the beginning. Because they live in Florida -- which we learned via Rosie O'Donnell is not gay-adoption friendly and where second parent adoption is banned -- the gals must find a place they can call home and be recognized as a family, even if it means leaving their heartbroken families behind.
The show is yet another wonderful slice-of-gay-life documentary from Logo, although this subject might not be for everyone. As I was watching it I started to wonder to myself, Is there something wrong with me for not wanting to have a child? (Now I know how straight couples without kids feel.) Truth be told, in my 40 years on this planet -- half of which as an out gay man -- I am only acquaintances with one gay guy who has ever opted to have a child and it only happened about a year a half ago (he used his sperm and a donor egg with his sister as the surrogate). I'm also blog pals with one other. I don't see any harm in spreading the word about the various options there are out there for gays and lesbians, but either this phenomenon is reported more often than it happens, or this baby trend hasn't hit my neck of the woods just yet. Check it out and see if your heartstrings are tugged in unexpected ways ...
4 comments:
You aren't looking in the right places .... in the general gay circles my partner and I run in, nobody has kids. It was actually a straight couple (friends) who adopted two children who gave us the idea.
We are now "in the process" and there is indeed a gay "baby boom" going on. At least 50% of the families we see adopting are gay, at least through the agency we are using.
The thing about adoption is that you have to really want kids. I often look at people with biological children and wonder a) did they do it because everyone else like them does it or b) if they had to adopt, would they choose not to have kids.
My partner and I will likely have a couple of siblings by Christmas. We tried for the 17 year old football players, but als, none available (just kidding).
I agree, with Anonymous; there's a boom on. I hear young gay couples chatting about the decision to move to a city/neighborhood after graduate school that will be more practical for raising children. Three couples I know abandoned 10+ years of Manhattan (Chelsea and Hell's Kitchen) to the very gay friendly Maplewood (Gayplewoood), NJ. On Saturday I went to Brooklyn Heights to attend a baby shower for a gay couple about to have a baby boy by surrogacy. The shower was thrown by several straight friends and hosted at the apartment of the Mom of one of the Dads-to-be. While I was there I received an email from my friends (another gay couple) who had travelled from the Upper West Side of Manhattan to Vietnam last week where they are finally meeting for the first time the baby boy that they have adopted. Upper West Side is gay Daddy stroller central with most Dads in their 30s and early 40s. About once a month a friend or acquaintance will ask me about surrogacy vs. adoption and ask for advice. Singles and couples. The most interesting mini-phenomenon I have observed is the increased propensity of single gay men to move forward with adoption/surrogacy without being partnered---I can think of three off hand that have started down that path and four more that are already raising a child (intentionally) as single Dads by surrogacy.
I think theres a boom in certain gay circles but not all. It's also very expensive to have and raise a kid in the (212).
Jonas, lots of gay and lesbian parents are in the 718 and the 201, don't forget that. Cost of living there is much lower and they usually having two income households. There are middle class gay men having kids in New York, just like there are middle class straight families; luxuries that some take for granted are not part of their/our reality. Surrogacy might (sometimes) be very expensive, but it is not always, and there are other options like adoption.
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