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Fat Chance: Let's hope Chastity Bono's upcoming "how to come out to your parents" reality show works out better for its participants than "Celebrity Fit Club" did for her. (Bitchocrite mom Cher is even on board -- can you say Lori Davis redux?) (Source)

Man in the Mirror: Nothing says "Fag -- don't flirt with me, I'm STRAIGHT" like raping your male suitor. (ChicagoSunTimes)

Altar Boy: Sexy soap stud and sometime "Brothers and Sisters" gay love interest Eric Winter got engaged to "Without a Trace" hot tamale Roselyn Sanchez. (AP)

Vatican Hate Speech: Pope Benedict XVI got the new year off to a hate-filled start telling "the faithful" in his first public address of 2008 that same-sex marriage a threat to world peace. Yeah. That's the problem with the world. (365Gay)

Stop the Presses: It's a new year but Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen are still the most beautiful couple on god's green earth. (People)

Cattle Call: When I was growing up in Phoenix the club Anderson's Fifth Estate was quite the breeding ground. So when I started reading about it being involved in all of these disputes with trannies last year, I wasn't that surprised. Imagine my surprise when I read that it had now decided to be a full-on gay bar. (Source)

Douche Bag Included: Spencer Pratt in a gay porn movie? His Eddie Haskell looks might work in a triple X "Leave It to Beaver" remake, but I think Brody Jenner's the one Michael Lucas was thinking of. (LOGO)

Divine Brown: Eddie Murphy got married on New Year's Day and his new wife might not even have a shenis. (Reuters)

Huckafatty: Former Arkansas governor and GOP presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee appeared on "Meet the Press" with Tim Russert Sunday, explaining that he doesn't believe homosexuality is linked to sadomasochism, pedophilia, or necrophilia (gee, thanks). "But one thing I know, that the behavior one practices is a choice," said Huckabee, even if "we may have certain tendencies." I guess he's right. Just like he chose to eat all of those King Dongs. (You know Huck & Co. are serious about being fatties when they actually dress up as Farrell's ice cream parlour employees for family photos!) (Advocate)