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Shanks A Lot: Kudos to the two New Jersey inmates who went all "Shawshank Redemption" and escaped through holes they'd dug that were covered with posters of bikini-clad pinups. They may have committed yet another felony or two, but unlike the majority of law-abiding citizens, they know how to spell "you're." I say pardon them both, Governor Corzine. ((NYP)

Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead: Goodbye, Trent Lott. (365Gay)

Jingle Balls: What's up with the 33-year-old woman at a mall in Danbury, Conn., who sat on Santa's lap and then made a play for his sack? (NYP)

Hit Myself Baby, One More Time: A schoolmate of Francisco Nava, that conservative nut job at Princeton who attacked himself to make it seem like people were against him for his political views, reports that Nava told him that he dragged his face across a brick wall to give himself the abrasions, hit himself with an Orangina bottle several times, which caused the concussion, and also bashed his head against the brick wall. Pretty much what I expected although I'd have pegged him as a SunnyD guy. (NYP)

Shot in the Dark: I'm confused. Everyone is saying Tila Tequila picked the guy over the girl. But which one's which? (BuddyTV)

Trans Rights: Palm Beach County Commissioners have unanimously approved amendments to two county ordinances that will prohibit discrimination in employment, housing and public accommodations based on gender identity or expression. Get your resume together, Steve Stanton. (365Gay)

Say It Isn't So: Cutie Justin Bruening was injured on the set of "Knight Rider." God let his beautiful face remain in tact. (AccessHwood)

Return to Gradeur: The Beaux-Arts gem New York Public Library is slated for a centennial face-lift. (NYT)

Officially Gay: Real estate agent Joel Burns has become the first openly gay member of Fort Worth City Council in a race that was marked by homophobia. Burns defeated school trustee Juan Rangel Jr. a fellow Democrat, in a runoff election Tuesday. Congrats! (365Gay)

Dolly Would: How adorable is Jake Shears? (Towleroad)

Choir Boy: Note to Casey Aldrige: Do me next. (All right. I gotta stop watching so much "One Tree Hill.") (ShowbizSpy)