Better Than Having Crabs

Every year, my friend Jay and I go out to dinner for each other's birthday. And every year, twice a year, we go out to eat at one of our "favorite" chains. Call it nostalgia or just call it bad taste, but nothing tastes better than something you grew up eating. I think Jay put it best when he said, "if it doesn't look exactly the same when i order it in new york or dallas, i don't trust it." (Amen to that.)

Now that we're both in our 40s, though, I decided I should at least extended the non-chain branch to Jay for his birthday dinner last night. So I e-mailed him as much earlier in the week to which he promptly replied, "why wouldn't we go to a chain? i think either chevy's or red lobster and i'll let you choose." I had to agree, and wrote back: "It would be confusing if we had to order off a menu that we hadn't been reading for 30 plus years, huh?" Jay concurred, adding, "or one that didn't have multiple pages, kitschy names and national promotions." Remembering that we definitely speak the language, I replied, "would you believe some people eat in restaurants where nothing on the menu has the word 'popper' in its name? Let it suffice to say that it's a world I want nothing to do with."
We got seated and our overly nice yet at the same time slightly aloof server, Maiya, started to try to dazzle us with some "fresh fish of the day" bullshit. Jay put the brakes on that real quick informing her that we wouldn't be eating anything that hadn't been frozen at some point. ("Unless by fresh you mean Mrs. Paul delivered it herself today, we don't need to know anything about that," I added.)

The meal got off to a bit of a rocky start when Maiya informed us that they were all out of the Lobster, Artichoke and Seafood Dip. Given that it's "a creamy three-cheese blend with artichokes, spinach, Maine and langostino lobster, and seafood. Served with chips and fresh pico de gallo" it's pretty easy to why they were out, but Jay wanted "anything with chips" so I was beginning to panic.
Luckily the Lobster Pizza sounded mutually appealing -- and was in stock -- so we ordered that instead. Maiya won us back over by quickly bringing out a second basket of cheese biscuits (Gabriel Union cited Red Lobster and those biscuits as one of her all-times faves on Oprah Winfrey earlier this week -- and this gal knows what she's talking about.)
Later, our house salads came out (not as good as Olive Garden's, but what is?) followed by the piece de resistance: popcorn shrimp with baked potatoes (with the works). The meal was every bit as good as it was when we used to go to the Red Lobster at the Poca Fiesta shopping center in Mesa, Ariz., when I was a kid. We talked and laughed for hours and Maiya refilled our drinks and water glasses so many times I almost didn't make it home in time. By then it was going on 11 p.m. and it was time to call it a night. Somehow it seems that it doesn't matter how many "fancy" parties either one of us attends, you can take the boy out of the suburbs but you can't take the suburbs out of the boy. I think it's part of what bonds Jay and me -- and I wouldn't have it any other way.