This review of the 1977 J.C. Penney catalog has been making the rounds, but in case you missed it here you go. Mitt Romney's layout in the men's underwear section was oddly missing.
Here's how to get your ass kicked in elementary school:
Just look at that belt. It's like a boob-job for your pants. He probably needed help just to lift it into place. The belt loops have to be three inches long. And way to pull them up to your armpits, grandpa.Here's how to get your ass kicked in high school:
This kid looks like he's pretending to be David Soul, who is pretending to be a cop who is pretending to be a pimp that everyone knows is really an undercover cop. Who is pretending to be 15.Here's how to get your ass kicked on the golf course:
This "all purpose jumpsuit" is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house. Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around your cell in D-block. Even then, the only reason you should put this thing on is because the warden made you, and as a one-piece, it's slightly more effective as a deterrent against ass-rapery.Here's how to get your ass kicked pretty much anywhere:
If you look at that picture quickly, it looks like Mr. Bob "No-pants" Saget has his hand in the other guy's pocket. In this case, he doesn't, although you can tell just by looking at them that it's happened -- or if it hasn't happened it will. Oh yes. It will. As soon as he puts down his matching coffee cup.Here's how to get your ass kicked at the beach:
He looks like he's reaching for a gun, but you know it's probably just a bottle of suntan lotion in a holster.How to get your ass kicked in a meeting: 
If you wear this suit and don't sell used cars for a living, I believe you can be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you'd be forced to wear that orange jumpsuit (see above).
How to get your ass kicked on every day up to and including St. Patrick's Day:
If you wear this suit and don't sell used cars for a living, I believe you can be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you'd be forced to wear that orange jumpsuit (see above).How to get your ass kicked on every day up to and including St. Patrick's Day:
Dear god in heaven, I don't believe that color exists in nature. There is NO excuse for wearing either of these ensembles unless you're working as a body guard for the Lucky Charms leprechaun.Continued reading "Penney's From Heaven" ---->
10 comments:
Kenneth, you have outdone yourself, this is perfect for a Friday afternoon. People across the hall were wondering what I've been cackling about. Too hysterical.
That barrel furniture reminds me of a chandalier we had growing up in the south .... a wagon wheel with mason jar globes. Swank Southern!
For the love of toast on a stick, get me an order form and turn me to the caftan page!
So funny and I for one have not ignored your references to Mitt Romney looking like a daddy-underwearer from these catalogs.
Will people think less of me if I actually wore the maroon and white shirt that the kid is wearing and begged my Mom and Dad to buy the barrel furniture?
That kid's belt! I am LMFAO here! You so need your own show, "Kenneth Lately"!!!
I laughed so hard I almost cried. What a perfect way to start the day! (it's 8AM where I'm located) Thanks!
http://15minutelunch.blogspot.com/2007/10/strap-in-shut-up-and-hold-on-were-going.html
This morning I saw sideburns which brought back unpleasant memories of the 70s, but these pics have set off a full-fledged flashback. I spent half and hour wandering confused, sipping Tang and humming old Bay City Rollers songs.
Loved it!! Now do the 80's!!!!!!
When I saw the one with the plaid jacket (second from bottom), I couldn't help but laugh out loud.
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