Page 1 Consider (09/06)

Grow It for the Team: Am I imagining things or are Yankees sluggers Johnny Damon, Jaret Wright, Ron Villone and steroid-boy Jason Giambi all sporting pornstaches? It seems the answer is yes. "A few of us were, 'Why not?' " Villone said. "Maybe pulling us together a little bit -- doing something different. We know everybody who was winning in the '70s had one." Apparently the whole team isn't doing the "team thing" (as Damon put it). Derek Jeter comes up short in the facial hair department. (SL)

The Gay-Friendly Divorcee: Will "Kathy Griffin's Life on the D-List" return for a Matt-less third season? Apparently she doesn't even know. (MSNBC)

How McGreevey Got His Groove Back: Everyone's favorite "gay American" Jim McGreevey will be a guest on Oprah Sept. 19. Like all good Americans, he'll be promoting his tell-all new book about his double-life in New Jersey politics. Now if only Golan Cipel would come on Oprah could referee another bad-breakup showdown on the air, a la the time she had Terry McMillan and Jonathan Plummer on the same show. (NBC)

Nature's Way: I love how the press is portraying Steve Irwin's death as a "freakish accident." Why, because the stingray was doing what it was supposed to be doing? If you jump into the jaws of a shark and it eats you is that "freakish" too? The man was obviously a bit of a nut and this further proves that what he did with his newborn child in 2004 was, in fact, very wrong. I'm sure he and Timothy Treadwell are becoming fast friends in the afterlife. (AP)

An Extra 'Extra': So Katie Couric finally began her new job as the first orange-American solo anchor of a network news broadcast and how did she do? Well, she already managed to get her first "big news scoop": you know, photos of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' baby, Suri. Move over, "Entertainment Tonight." (WP)

Everything's Coming Up Rosie: Speaking of television debuts, Rosie O'Donnell has her first visit to "The View." What did we learn? Her short, "lesbian" haircut of the post-talk show period was "an error of epic proportion, a mistake on many levels." ("This girl has long, luxurious hair from now on," she added, with a demonstrative shake of her long-tressed head.) On coming out? "I sort of thought everybody knew" already, she said. I don't watch the show but I can't help but think having Rosie on it is a move in the right direction. (AP)