Page 1 News (05/22)

Lucky Undies: A British fashion brand will have Australia looking as sharp as David Beckham at next month's World Cup after winning the bid to dress the team in its official dress uniform and underwear. I can hardly wait for the photo shoot of all the players in 'em ... no shorts required. (Fox)

Car-Jacked: I've been pretty disgusted by all of these so-called reunion tours of bands that don't feature many of the original members, but the "New Cars" has to be one of the worst offenders what with Ric Ocasek -- who WAS the Cars -- not even in the band. So I was doubly turned off when I found out they were doing their fake reunion tour with my band, Blondie, this summer. Now I just read the review in my brother Terence's paper from my hometown and see that Blondie opened for Todd Rundgren and the New Cars. Even if Ric Ocasek were there Blondie shouldn't be opening for them. WTF? (EVT)

Oh, Lordi! Those self-esteem-challenged Finns were afraid they'd be humiliated by this year's entry in the Eurovision song competition: now they are the champions! (Telegraph)

Money Talk: So we saw "Friends With Money" on Saturday. Given my vendetta against straight-to-video movie queen Jennifer Aniston you might be wondering why I'd do such a thing, but the reviews have been good and the film starred three other women I greatly admire (Catherine Keener, Joan Cusack and Frances McDormand). Turns out the critics were right: it's got an indie sensibility to it, nothing over the top, lots of dialogue and relationship analysis (read: my kind of movie). And like in "Office Space," Aniston complemented the film in an ensemble role (as opposed to her more disastrous attempts as a leading lady). I recommend it. (BD)

Suspicious Minds: Is there anyone left in Aruba who hasn't been arrested in the Natalee Hollway case? (SPI)

What About Gus? Onetime Redskins quarterback and all-around dreamboat (turned NFL disaster) Heath Shuler is running for Congress in North Carolina's 11th district. (Citizen-Times)

Soak Up the Very Hot Son: Is Sheryl Crow hooking up with my future ex-husband John Stamos? (WEN)

Bjorn Again: The Daily News had a rare interview with tennis legend Bjorn Borg in Sunday's edition. John McEnroe astutely points out that Borg's popularity was like nothing tennis had seen before or has seen since: he was rock-star famous. (I know I had the biggest crush on Borg back in the '70s and early '80s). (NYDN)

Foot Enthusiast: First the New York subway foot attacker and now the Orange County boys version ... (UPI)