Friday, February 17, 2006

The Reality of Today

(Clockwise from top left: Sarah 1 wanted to be Martha Stewart's "Apprentice," but it was her "Tide to go." Sara 2 got legs, and she knows how to use 'em. Fabrice tried to win over "The Bachelorette," but his French kissing in the U.S.A. was all wet. Tammy is a journalist and a "Survivor.")

The second I saw the e-mail's subject in my inbox -- something to the effect of "Another Reality Show, Another Co-Worker" -- I knew I had my next blog entry.

Remember when there were only seven "reality stars" in the world and Eric Nies was the hottest of them all? And then there were 14 -- oops, plus lezzie Beth, make that 15 -- and then there was Puck and Pedro, and by the time we got to London it was so boring I thought reality TV was going to fade away forever. How wrong was I. It's gotten to the point where I barely know a person who doesn't know a "reality star" (what's the ratio in the U.S. population of civilians to reality stars now anyway, 15 to 1?)

When a gay couple with whom I was a guest in the same house in the Hamptons a few summers ago ended up on "The Amazing Race" (and actually won it!) I thought it was just a funny story.

No sooner did that happen, a guy I play tennis with named Fabrice turned up "The Bachelorette." (He never even mentioned that he was going to be on it! And while he lost, it wasn't before participating in one of the most cringe-inducing "romantic" moments in reality television history.)

My friend who sent me the "Another Reality Show, Another Co-Worker" e-mail had just gotten through his co-worker Sarah's appearance on "The Apprentice: Martha Stewart" when he hired another Sara, from California, but only having interviewed her on the phone:

"I had no idea what she looked like, but she was professional, polished, bright, articulate, and driven and so I hired her. Only when she showed up to the offices and towered over me by several inches did I say, 'Holy shit, we hired a tall, leggy supermodel.' All of the boys in the office are all over her ... the gay ones want to be her and the straight ones want to ... Only last week, did she start 'coming out' as a being in the new season of 'America's Next Top Model.' And yesterday, I was walking behind her down this long hallway in our office that kinda feels like a runway, and I swear she was doing 'that model horse walk.'"
And so the stories kept rolling in. By only asking a few people that day I heard about my friend's "Top Model" encounter, I found out my brother in Phoenix worked with Tammy from "Survivor: Marquesas." A good friend knows the knife-wielding freak from Bayonne, N.J., who was on "Big Brother 2." A woman at work knows a designer who was working on a reality design show. Another co-worker has a friend who was on pilot for a new reality show on the Game Show Network. Another good friend went to junior high with Daphna from "INXS: Rock Star." And a friend's cousin was on "Elimidate" -- and another friend's brother was on "Shipmates." (Keep those stories coming!)

This whole topic hearkens me back to the overly cited (but ever-more-true) Andy Warhol quote: "In the future everyone will be famous for 15 minutes." Warhol used to set up a camera and film spontaneous monotony for hours on end and then call the footage films. Imagine that.

  • Meet Sara and the other "Top Model 6" girls via
  • Just Jared.

    1 comment:

    Anonymous said...

    Friggin' Tammy and I were at BU together getting our journo degrees. That chick was competitive back then, not to mention a serious ho bag. She knew damn well that *I* was the one bonking the prof, but she had to throw her then double-D's (or so they seemed; she lost those babies when she got all diesel for "Survivor") in his face, then glare at me with a knowing smirk. And the prof man knew it, too. Bitchface. Seriously, no girl liked her. And I can't even go all schadenfreudy about it now, because she's successful, dammit!