Thursday, February 25, 2021

The Literary Twist in the Bizarre (Astronaut) Love Triangle

It's been widely reported that a literary agency in Manhattan recently fired an employee for using two social-media apps favored by the conspiracy-theory set. 

“The Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency was distressed to discover this morning, January 25th, that one of our agents has been using the social media platforms Gab and Parler. We do not condone this activity, and we apologize to anyone who has been affected or offended by this,” De Chiara wrote. 
“The Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency has in the past and will continue to ensure a voice of unity, equality, and one that is on the side of social justice,” adding: “As of this morning, Colleen Oefelein is no longer an agent at The Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency.”

What people aren't mentioning is that the agent, Colleen (née Shipman) Oefelein, is none other than the other woman who was "accosted and pepper-sprayed" in 2007 by diaper-wearing astronaut Lisa Nowak, who infamously packed latex gloves, a black wig, a BB pistol and ammunition, pepper spray, a hooded tan trench coat, a drilling hammer, black gloves, an 8-inch Gerber folding knife and other items before driving some 900 miles from Houston to Orlando to take out the competition. 

If the erstwhile agent's name sounds at all familiar, it's because the love triangle involved fellow astronaut William Oefelein, to whom she is now married. Colleen tweeted that she "got fired because I’m a Christian and a conservative" -- before racing to appear on “The Tucker Carlson White Persecution Hour” -- to which @CharmQuark12 responded: "No, you were fired because you pal around with people who'd like to murder anyone who doesn't look like them."

For her part, Nowak entered a guilty plea to felony burglary and misdemeanor battery in 2009 and was sentenced to a year's probation plus the two days she'd already served in jail, with no additional jail time. (She was the inspiration for the 2019 box-office bomb "Lucy in the Sky" starring Jon Hamm and Natalie Portman, who didn't even bother to don diapers.) If Nowak seemed to get off easily it's apparently in part because the prosecutors' case was hamstrung when a medical report seemed to suggest that Mrs. Gab-Parler may have lied about the pepper spray. While a plea dropping the assault charges was reached before it could be determined either way, there is one thing this nutty Parler trick proves beyond a reasonable doubt: William Oefelein has a type.

1 comment:

Jack said...