Liberal Responds to Rand Paul's Campaign Contribution Email

I love my friends!

Dear Senator Paul,

Hello! How are you? Did you survive the winter? How is your wife? I'm sorry, Getting an unsolicited email from your campaign made me feel as though I should respond as if I was Sally from the Peanuts cartoon writing her letter to Santa Claus (it's my favorite holiday special and when we enjoy that special as a family at Christmas, we always love to say which Peanuts character we would be. I'm Linus since I had a security blanket. Just a fun fact about me since you told me so much about yourself).

I was surprised to receive your very personal message to me, "Fellow Conservative". How did you know that was my nickname in college? It wasn't but we'll get there. For awhile I was actually trying to get myself nicknamed K-dawg but I grew up a white boy in the suburbs so it didn't really catch on.

I'm confused as to how I landed on your email list. I'm concerned to hear that you have a "bullseye" on your back. Are you ok? I watch a lot of Law and Order and that term comes up a great deal.

Know who else seems to be confused? Whoever manages your email solicitation and social media campaign because they are really missing the mark. I don't want to tell you how to run your campaign, but in truth, they are doing it wrong.

Just to give you a bit of context: I have been a member of the Democratic party since I first registered to vote at the age of 18. I have voted democrat in every presidential election since I was first able to do so in the 1996 election (Bill really walloped the competition -- am I right?). I believe I have voted democrat across the board in every election, with the exception of electing Republican Jeanine Pirro as district attorney of Westchester County back in 1994, and I think we can all agree what a mistake that was seeing as how she now hosts a fake court show on TV. In my defense, I was young and stupid.

In 2008 during the primaries I actually voted for Hillary Clinton over Barack Obama. I am also a proud member of the New York State Teachers' Union, as is my brother and both my parents during their careers as public educators. (My sister broke ranks and is a public school teacher in Massachusetts and also now a Red Sox fan, but we love her anyway). I am a firm supporter of equal pay for all, same-sex marriage, the right to choose, affirmative action, stem cell research, public education, the right to unionize -- well you get the idea.

I realize this is a lot of information to get through so let me sum up. You want a campaign contribution from me? You'll have to pry it out of my cold dead hands. I would respectfully ask that you not utilize a firearm to bring about my demise as I also am a big believer in gun control.

Wishing you the best in your future endeavors,

Kevin Fleck