Page 1 Consider (03/29)

Schmear Campaign: If you're looking to stalk "Hangover" hunk Justin Bartha -- who's now starring in the classic Broadway farce "Lend Me a Tenor" -- then Murray's Bagels downtown is a good place to start. (NYDN)

One Step Forward, 10 Steps Back: The Marine Corps' top officer said he would not "force" straight Marines to share rooms with gay service members if Congress repeals the "don't ask, don't tell." No word yet on the segregated water fountains. (WaPo)

Balk Choi: Iraq war vet Lt. Dan Choi says Defense Secretary Robert Gates' new rules that make it more difficult to boot gays in the military don't go far enough. "The reason why 'don't ask, don't tell' is so repugnant is because it forces people to be in the closet and lie, and that hasn't changed," Choi said. "The real price of 'don't ask, don't tell' is that it institutionalizes shame." (NYDN)

'Office' Fun: Schrute Farms, the fictional bed and breakfast from the NBC comedy “The Office,” has been a marketing bonanza for TripAdvisor. (NYT)

Status Report: Ever wonder what will become of your Facebook account when you kick the bucket? (Gizmodo)

Misstep: Are we supposed to be surprised that ballerinas -- famous for being arrogant and narcissistic -- are now tweeting their every thought, no matter how insignificant? (NYT)

Method of Modern Love: I see it's not just me: everything's coming up Hall and Oates. (Reuters)

Three's a Crowd: Did you know that it's against the law for more than three unrelated people to live together in a New York apartment? (NYT)

Jaws Log: Anderson Cooper, on assignment for "60 Minutes," writes about plunging into bloody water to swim with one of the world's most vicious -- and endangered -- predators. Sounds like someone's prepping for coming out of the closet to me. (The Daily Beast)

Extreme Takeover: Homo Edition: An Islamist mob shut down a gay conference in East Java over the weekend. (Gay City News)

Imitation of Christ: The "gay Jesus" play at Tarleton State has been canceled because of concerns about the students' safety, "as well as the need to maintain an orderly academic environment." (Dallas Morning News)

Full Service: Would partners of gay troops get benefits, too? (AP)

Something in Common: Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe and Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai have rarely agreed on anything -- until now: oppressing gay people. (NYT)

Positively Sad: More than 14 percent of gay men in the District are HIV positive, almost five times as high as the overall rate for the city's adults and teenagers, according to a snapshot of the community released Thursday by the D.C. HIV/AIDS Administration. (WaPo)

Hot Tranny Mess Alert: The Tribeca Film Festival intends to screen “Ticked-Off Trannies With Knives” despite protests from GLAAD. (NYT)