Friday, October 02, 2009



This week's Project Runway recap is being subtitled "Party of One" or "Homo Alone." Not one of my single Park Slope party cohorts found it in their hearts to keep me entertained (and provide me with witty blog-banter) while Craig is away in Dallas, and Dan's off in DC. Nick & Adam had to pack for a trip to visit the fam in (God bless them!) Alabama. Jason had "errands" to do (is that what he's calling The Architect these days?), Tim had a date (good for him! He's super-cute, and I keep meaning to post a pic for all you single boys out there), and Jay had to attend a b-day gathering. Not sure what happen to our Token Straights, Saskia & Scott.


No big deal. I made myself a Tequila Mockingbird, and sat down with my notebook, remote in hand. This way I could take my time and rewind in case I missed anything...

To begin tonight's episode, we learn that poor Hottie McGee, aka Logan, has moveed in with Nicolas, Christopher, and Epperson. I might have thought he was concerned about being molested living with the gay guys -- only Epperson's not. Not sure what the dilemma is. Might have something to do with Nicolas' announcing to Logan that he's "a cuddler." More like a cunt, if you ask me! I'm sorry, but I am the only person who wants that guy to go? (Just wait 'til you hear what he does to poor Louise!)

After a quick meeting on the runway with Heidi who informs them that tonight's challenge is going to be "quite colorful," the designers meet with Tim in the workroom. He introduces them to Martine Reardon, Macy's EVP of corporate marketing (at least that's what I wrote down!) Martine explains that their task is to create two looks based on the color blue, in the style of the INC brand. (I initialy wrote down "Ink," then saw the logo. Who knew? When do I shop at Macy's?)

Also... It's going to be a team challenge (all eyes roll), and they have one day to create. After 15 minutes of sketching, they will pitch their designs to Martine. She will choose 5 of the remaining 10 designers to be team leader. The winner of tonight's challenge will design a holiday dress to be sold at "select" Macy's stores. (In case it doesn't play to Middle America?)


"Without Nipples," aka Althea pitches first. She wants to do a denim wide-leg/high-wasted pair of pants (initially I wrote down "pantsuit" which I would have loved to see!)

Christopher decides he's going to do a play on a man's shirt and create a shirt dress. (Didn't he see, was it , The Fashion Show where that nautical shirt dress was all the rage? Or was it last year's Runway? Why can't I remember? Someone remind me, please!)

Louise declares that she wants to do something bold, so as not to be labeled a "snooze-fest" again. (We'll see how that works for Louise. I admire her ambition, but...)

Team leaders are chosen and partners selected:

1) Irina w/ Gordana
2) Althea w/ Logan
3) Carol Hannah w/Shirin
4) Christopher w/Epperson
5) Louise w/Nicolas

Poor Gordana, that's all I'm saying! That Irina may look all cute and sweet, but I can't believe some of the things she says -- esp. when she's "confessing." When it comes to picking teams, she puts on this total act of "Oh, don't make me choose! Who wants to work with me?" Someone should have warned Gordana against volunteering. Don't get me wrong, I love her. But that woman needs to grow a spine and stop being so nice!

The designers are told that because of the nature of this challenge (the deal with Macy's), there will not be immunity for the winner. With that, they head off to Mood with $100... Let the fun begin!

As they race around like chickens with heads cut-off, we learn that Gordana is stressing Irina out. This won't be the first time! We also learn that Louise is a flake as she loses her envelope of money and her sketch. Could this be an omen of bad things to come?

Back in the work room after the commercial break...

Shirin declares: "It's hard to work with colors this bright."
Nicolas confesses: "I hate ruffles!"
Louise shows us: she makes noises when she works.

At this point, Gordana announces (in her "confessional") that everyone thinks Logan is hot. Including the boys. Not sure how Epperson would feel hearing this. Also I wonder, "Is Logan really that hot... Or is he the only young, straight guy so that's why he's getting all the attention?" Maybe it's just me!)

Tim arrives to critique and advise...

Tim to Carol Hannah & Shirin re leggings: "Don't get me on leggings."
Tim to Louise & Nicolas: "I'm with you."
Tim to Logan & Althea re their suit: "Not holding onto stereotypes."
Tim to Irina & Gordana: "You two have a lot to discuss."
Tim to Christopher & Epperson: "I love a shirt dress." (Famous last words, perhaps?)

As much as Tim doesn't want to see anyone go home, he reminds us it's Project Runway Musical Chairs... And the models arrive!

Remember the not-so-bright model who earlier in the season declared proudly, "I love my back!" (I know, I could look her up, but I'm not going to.) This time she quips, "Is the theme blue?" Very observant for a model!

Again, Irina starts criticizing Gordana. Again, Nicolas tells us that he hates ruffles. In fact, they make him "sick." And then Irina has the nerve to say that Carol Hannah's (whom she calls "Carol Hah-nah") design looks like a "$10 shirt on sale for $5.99." Would someone please slap that bitch for me?!

After a commerical break, we see the ladies at the apartment... Louise worries about being out. (Keep on worrying, girl!) Irina (of course) says she feels confident. Nicolas says that his partner, Louise, "doesn't have a clue." (So why not help her get one? She's your teammate!)

Back at the work room... Althea is "concerned" her design won't fit the model. Irina thinks all the blue is "so sad and depressing" (Take a look at my student loan bill!) Gordana complains that she's gotten "no direction" for her team leader, Irina.

Tim returns with the models who are off to hair and makeup. He encourages the designers to use the Inc. shoes from the Macy's wall (after all, it's a Macy's challenge!)

10 minutes 'til runway time...

Nicolas is totally sabotagging Louise. He claims he just doesn't have "enough time" to deal with the second set of ruffles. Remember, he hates ruffles! Irina tells us that Gordana could have been "more productive." Gordana confesses that she had to "save her own ass" or Irina would have "as they say," thrown her "under the bus." (I was just waiting for that phrase to pop up tonight and thank God it came from Gordana... LOVE her!)

Runway, runway, runway... With a special twist from Heidi before we start: "One or more of your will be aut."

My faves include:

1) Irina (the bitch!)

2) Epperson

3) Carol Hannah

Surprise! Michael Kors is back. Though no Ninca Garcia. Instead we have Zanna Roberts, Senior Fasion Editor of Marie Claire, and Martine Reardon, from Macy's.

Heidi announces, "Congrat-ulations, Althea and Logan... You're safe. You can leave the runway."

Top 2 teams:
1) Carol Hannah & Shirin
2) Irina & Gordana

Bottom 2 teans:
1) Louise & Nicolas
2) Christopher & Epperson

The look on poor Christopher's face after he just declared how proud he was of his and Epperson's design! I'll admit, I was shocked, too. I wanted to reach through the flatscreen and give that boy a hug.
Comments from the judges to Carol Hannah...
Heidi: "I like that it doesn't look cheap."
Macy's woman: "Good job at interpreting the Inc. design."
Michael Kors: "The tunic is great."
Zanna Don't: "Good attention to detail."

Comments to Irina...
Heidi: "I would totally wear that."
Macy's: "Love the top of the dress."
Kors commened the pattern which Irina created herself and was not a part of the fabric.

At this point, Irina has the nerve to call Gordana "shy as a designer," after Gordana tells the judges that she is pleased at how things turned out. You could totally tell she wanted to throw Irina under the bus, but she did not. Take this as a lesson in class, Miss Irina!

Comments to Louise & Nicolas...
Heidi: "Who wears this today?"
Macy's Woman: "Very overstated."
Zanna: "If I walked into Macy's and saw this, I would walk straight back out."
Michael Kors: "Like a bridesmaid's dress with a shower loofa roushed (sp?) up the front of it."

At this point, Nicolas has the nerve to say, "ruffles were never my thing." He just tried to help. So why didn't he help Louise and tell her no ruffles?! (I guess maybe he was trying when he claimed he didn't have time for the second ruffle, but still... He hates ruffles, I hate him!)

Comments to Christopher...
Heidi: "A lobster bib."
Michael Kors: "Like a librarian shirt dress circa a table cloth." (Ouch!) He calls the other dress (with the lobster bib) a "disco pumpkin."

At this point, poor Christopher breaks down in tears. But this isn't your typical "Ricky moment." (Maybe I'm just saying that?) It felt as if he was so disappointed and embarrassed with himself. Like he really felt he'd done a good job, and to hear the judges tear him apart is totally killing him. Again, I'd hug him if I could!
Heidi once again reminds the designers that "one or more will be aut." I really hope Nicolas is going to go... But I forgot he has immunity. Damn!

After the commercial break, we learn the results: Irina is the winner. (Boo!) Don't get me wrong, I liked the dress. She's just such a cunty bitch that I can't stand her, personally!

When we get down to the last three: Nicolas, Louise, and Christopher, Heidi reminds Nicolas that he's "very lucky" he has immunity. Subtext: "We wanted to send your ass home but we can't."

When it comes down to it, Louise is aut. But then we get the same ominous Runway "you're aut" music, making us think that Christopher might also be getting the boot... Thank God he doesn't! And for another lesson in class (Irina!), when he leaves the runway, you can bet Christopher makes sure to acknowledge poor Louise with a hug, before she is sent to clean up her space.

Project Runway airs at 10pm ET on Lifetime TV.

*FRANK ANTHONY POLITO is a Brooklyn-based writer and author of the novels Band Fags! and Drama Queers!


Kap said...

hated hated hated carol-hannah and shirins. Irina was a bitch, but her dress was nice. The judges were very mean to Christopher, and Louise. I thought her dresses were okay.
I too hate Irina and Nicholas.

Kian said...

I find your comments about who has class and who doesn't extremely irksome. Find another word!!!

Frank Anthony Polito said...

Thanks for reading, Kap! (Are you REALLY in New Zealand?) Yes, the judges have been quite mean this season. I wonder if it's part of the whole reality TV-thing which seems to be about NOT being nice. Which is why people like Irina and Nicolas make for "good" TV and poor Louise gets the boot!