RUNWAY 6.3

*THIS POST IS BEING MADE BY (212) CONTRIBUTOR FRANK ANTHONY POLITO

The Park Slope Project Runway Party Pad was in full swing last night. Dan's back from his trip to Boston and VT (or was it CT?), Jay stopped by, along with new additions to this season's viewers: married gays, Nick and Adam, and married heteros, Scott (or is it Scot?) and Saskia. (FYI, Nick and Adam live down the block from us. They're originally friends of Dan's, but have been friends of mine and Craig's for a good while now. Scott and Saskia are friends of Dan's from Washington, DC. Nick, Scott, and Saskia are all actors. Adam recently got his MBA from NYU.) And of course, Craig and I.

Before I get started, I have to mention: being heteros (and not having cable), neither Scott nor Saskia had ever experienced the phenomenon that is Runway. After finishing up Top Chef: Las Vegas, we gays quickly awaited the beginning of tonight's challenge. Scott said: "So on Project Runway, they make someone pretty?" Quickly we filled him and his wife in on the whole process, and we're off! (Again -- spolier alert! So if you haven't seen episode 6.3, STOP reading now.)

Tonight's challenge was to create a "fun and fashionable" surf-wear look. After meeting briefly with Heidi Klum on the runway (at which point, Dan questioned if her nose was indeed the "factory model" or was it made in a factory?), the designers were whisked away to the Santa Monica pier (I haven't fact-checked, this is what Dan called it. I asked if it's where they shot the opening to Three's Company) where they met a flip-flopped Tim Gunn, who presented them with the challenge.

Stipulation: working in teams of two. Team leaders were chosen, then they picked their partners, in a moment that recalled flashbacks of junior high dodgeball for poor Craig!

Since we're still getting to know our designers, I'll give you clues to help you remember who they are, exactly. (Please don't be offended by my off-colored nicknames!)

Team 1) Shirin (last week's winner, aka "Nellie Furtado") & Carol Hannah (two-named blonde)

Team 2) Logan (self-proclaimed straight boy) & Christopher (aka "Beard Boy")

Team 3) Nicholas (Polska or Rusky?) & Gordana (Rusky or Polska?)
Team 4) Mitchell (wall-eyed gay) & Ra'mon (Af/Am gay) Team 5) Althea (aka "Without Nipples") & Louise ('40s girl-wannabe) Team 6) Qristyl (with a Q) and Epperson (first name: Rodney--which they haven't told us!) Team 7) Johnny (aka "Meth Boy") and Irina (Shirin look-alike)

A note about teams: from the get-go, one could tell that Ra'mon was not happy to be chosen by Mitchell. This would later play out and provide most of the episode's entertainment. Ra'mon even went so far as to remark that he felt he had a "giant bulls-eye on his face." Rememeber, for the past two weeks, Mitchell found himself in the bottom 2. (Spoiler alert: get used to it, Mitchell!)

Vying for second place in the "I wish I'd Never Been Stuck With You" category were Qristyl and Epperson, who did not get along --no way, nuh-uh! The words "old married couple" kept coming to mind as they bickered their way through the challenge, accusing each other of this and that. Even on the runway at final judging, the fingers kept being pointed. (Good TV!)

After a brief consultation with some real-life surfer chicks, the designers headed off to Mood, bought their fabrics (forgive me, I missed what the budget was, as the house was all a-chatter), and went back to the workroom, where Mitchell and Ra'mon began to have at it. At which point Dan remarked of Mitchell: "I hope he goes. He's a real C-U-Next Tuesday." Adam interjected, "If there's no love, it's going to come out in the garment."

Blah, blah, blah... Design, design, design.

Enter Tim with a shocking announcement: "We're adding a twist." Like we haven't heard this before! Create a second "avant garde" look. $200 budget. 1 team member is allowed to shop. At which point Saskia said of Mitchell (can't remember why, exactly but she was right) "That guy needs to go!"

Good news: remember Valerie, the poor cleaning-obsessed "Mother Hen" model who got booted last week on Models of the Runway (or whatever the spin-off is called)? Well, she came back! Much to Craig's delight. It seems that what's-her-name (red-haired model) booked her Arby's commerical, so as Heidi would say, she's "aut." Genereal group consensus was "good for her! She looks more like an Arby's Girl than a Super Model."

What else? General consensus among Nick and Adam: self-proclaimed straight-boy, Logan, is hot. Though for some reason, Nick wanted Logan's name to be "Tyler."

Best advice of the night from Tim: "Work like there is no tomorrow." (Okay, maybe not the best, but I wrote it down.) This, he said to Ra'mon, after he scrapped his "avant-garde" look -- what resembled a spandex wet-suit, and decided to create a whole new look with 35 minutes left on the clock. (Spolier alert: there's something to be said about working "under pressure!")

Two hours for a fitting with the models. Off to the Garnier hair and make-up room, etc. You can be sure that Tim threw in "The Macy's.com wall" right on cue. General group consensus: did tonight's episode seem even more like one big advertisement?

Wait! Maybe this was the best advice of the night from Tim: (to Ra'mon, while having difficulty with his second "avant-garde" look) "Resurrect the scuba-suit."

Best comment of the night from straight-boy, Scott: (re: Mitchell, at some point) "That guy's a douche!"

Time to hit the runway! Tonight's judges, along with Heidi and Nina Garcia, included Max Azria (designer --anyone?), and Rachel Bilson (actress and designer -- anyone?) Again, no Michael Kors. What's up, Mikey?

For the most part, all of the looks were "fine." Scott said so, and he's straight, so we had to take his word for it. Personal faves included: Althea (a short black number with a funky bodice, and long train), Irina (macrame bathing suit top), and (shocker!) Mitchell's seaweed-inspired look in shades of green, and brown, and blue. (Can I just say that the Lifetime website sucks when it comes to trying to view the designs? See for yourself here.)

So to wrap things up, as this post is getting to be way too long...

Six designers (3 teams) were safe: Shirin & Carrol Hannah, Logan & Christopher, and Althea & Louise. Top 3 (actually 4, or two teams): Ra'mon & Mitchell and Johnny & Irina. Bottom 3: (again, 4): Qristyl and Epperson, and Nicholas & Gordana.

General consensus from the judges: Nicholas' look was good. He just made his model look like a whore with fishnets and garters (which Nina Garcia advised him to lose.) They loved, loved, loved Ra'mon's neon-green "neo-preen" (anyone?) mini-dress that he whipped up in half an hour (and even hand-dyed), and they even complimented Mitchell.

However... When Mitchell (aka, The Douche) confessed he really didn't do a thing to execute the design (despite being team leader), the judges were pissed! At this point, all at the Park Slope Party Pad wanted Mitchell to go. Top 3 (or 4, or 2) or not.

"Congratualtions, Ra'mon... You are the winner," says Heidi Klum. Needless to say, Ra'mon is in shock! Never before on Runway has so little work been rewarded. "Johnny and Irina, you are safe.... Epperson, safe." Leaving it down to just Qristyl and Mitchell... Which totally had us going. As Heidi put it, "Never has a team member in the Top 3 been eliminated..." Followed by, "Qristyl, you can leave the runway... Mitchell, you're aut." (I'm paraphrasing, of course.)

The best part: Heidi didn't seem the least bit sad to see Mitchell go... And neither did we! (Though now who's going to be the one to do "it" with Christopher? Who did not bother to cry when Mitchell left the show!)

Project Runway airs Thursday nights at 10pm ET on Lifetime TV.

*FRANK ANTHONY POLITO is a Brooklyn-based writer, and author of the novels Band Fags! and Drama Queers!