Express Yourself

Well, it's been a quiet couple of weeks here on the blog. I didn't set out to take a holiday, but when I noticed traffic was down 50 percent it kind of seemed like everyone needed a break from the blogosphere so I decided to slow down a bit, too. (Go figure -- most of you seem to read blogs on the job!) Now that the new year is upon us and I'm in the midst of launching Year 4 of kenneth in the (212), I decided I wanted to stir things up right out of the gate. First I thought about a post arguing the pros and cons of Israel's ground assault on Gaza. Then I considered taking stock of the myriad candidates for Hillary Clinton's Senate seat. (Did you know Rosie O'Donnell's gay brother recently threw his hat into the ring?) Then I had an idea to do an in-depth analysis of our soon-to-be president's economic stimulus plan (Is Barack Obama Turning Japanese?). But then I decided none of those topics was controversial enough to really get a heated debate going on here. That's when I decided to really live on the edge, with a topic everybody has an an opinion on.

What's your fave Madonna song? (please, no "ties")

What's your least favorite Madonna song?

I'll start things off and come right out and say that this isn't easy. First I wondered if I'd need to do a "singles" versus "album tracks" pick, but then I realized that virtually all of Madonna's best songs were singles in one form or another. (My apologizes to "Love Tried to Welcome Me," but this is really meant as a compliment given that her early albums usually had four or five singles on them and rarely more than 10 songs total.) Then my pal Jesse asked (pleaded?), "Can't we do it by eras?'" to which I replied, NO! (This post is not a love song -- don't I know it!)

So my favorite Madonna song is (drum roll, please):

"Into the Groove"

While I was tempted to say "anything on the first album -- particularly "Borderline," "Burning Up" and "Physical Attraction" -- that would be breaking my own "no ties" rule. But because those songs are so interconnected for me (kind of like the whole "Ray of Light" album), I was able to let go and come up with an answer that was truly honest. It started when I heard "Into the Groove" in the Danceteria scene in the life-changing "Desperately Seeking Susan," and then turned into a "repeat all night on the stereo by not putting the lever down on the turntable" when I got the 12-inch single of "Angel." in high school. (Incidentally, I was tickled by the handful of e-mails I got from you guys about that idiotic piano that was added to the song and felt duly vindicated for bringing up how it'd ruined later versions of the song!)

My least favorite is much easier:

"La Isla Bonita"

Sure, Madonna has "worse" songs ("Papa Don't Preach," "Hanky Panky," "Human Nature" and her SHOCKINGLY DISAPPOINTING cover of "Fever" are all duds; and MOST of her last three albums blur together for me). But I hated "La Isla Bonita" the minute I bought "True Blue" in '86, and the fact that the song seems to be held in such high reverence by Madonna herself (why else does she keep performing it live while dissing a HUGE portion of her other early hits?) and is constantly played on the radio and in restaurants after all these years just makes me dislike it all the more. An dishonorable mention goes out to "Love Makes the World Go 'Round." No, I don't dislike it (it's actually kind of sweet). But how Madonna and Patrick Leonard avoided a plagiarism lawsuit from the guys who wrote "Let's Hear It for the Boy" for Deniece Williams is BEYOND me!

So now it's YOUR TURN TO VOTE. Please tell me your favorite and least favorite Madonna ditty in the comments section.

Until then here are my honorable mentions:

"Borderline" (They don't make 'em like this anymore.)
"Ray of Light" (Out-of-this-world wonderful from arguably my favorite Madonna album.)
"Like a Prayer" (With a little "help" from the Staple Sisters, this song became an instant classic.)
"Burning Up" (I think I fell in love on this one.)
"Physical Attraction" (Even better than "Everybody"? You betcha!)
"Cherish" ("True Blue" would have been here if she hadn't outdone herself with this one!)
"Vogue" (Perhaps the most original song to ever hit the airwaves.)
"Dress You Up" (Still gives me goosebumps!)
"Take a Bow" (Teaming up with Babyface was a GREAT move, unlike later pairings.)
"Crazy for You" (I know I should say "Live to Tell," but I get swept away by the romance of this one.)
"Sooner or Later"/"Back in Business"/"Now I'm Following You" (This album is highly underrated.)
"Rain" (The unsung hero from an album that has grown better with age.)
"Music" (This is truly the last song she recorded that lived up to her own impeccable standards.)

(Timeline credit)