'Christmas Wrapping': The Waitresses

"Bah, humbug!" No, that's too strong
'Cause it is my favorite holiday
But all this year's been a busy blur
Don't think I have the energy

Patty Donahue's deadpan holiday greeting (from one my favorite Christmas songs) pretty much sums up this holiday season for me. (Not sure what's scarier: that Patty died 11 years ago this month at the age of 40 or that this Waitresses classic is now 26 years old. Sheesh.) Bought my first present this afternoon (between a haircut and going to the gym). Ran into Andy Towle on Seventh Avenue with shopping bags and asked him, "Are you Christmas shopping?" He laughed and said "No. I just bought myself some new underwear." (Briefs, no doubt.)

Michael and I are going to see the much-acclaimed "Juno" tonight. I can't help but feel that character has been so played out by Sara Gilbert on "Roseanne" and Alicia Witt on "Cybill," but everyone swears it's brilliant so we're going. Tomorrow it's my "Monday" so back to work then off to the annual Ronnie Spector Christmas Party (last year's show was the highlight of my season), followed by my office's holiday party at a bar in Midtown. (When are we supposed to find time to shop?) Hope everyone has a great weekend and gets a lot accomplished, although I'm going to do my best to remember what's really important this time of the year.

For now here are the lyrics (in case you wanna sing along):

"Christmas Wrapping" by Chris Butler

"Bah, humbug!" No, that's too strong
'Cause it is my favorite holiday
But all this year's been a busy blur
Don't think I have the energy

To add to my already mad rush
Just 'cause it's 'tis the season.
The perfect gift for me would be
Completions and connections left from

Last year, ski shop,
Encounter, most interesting.
Had his number but never the time
Most of '81 passed along those lines.

So deck those halls, trim those trees
Raise up cups of Christmas cheer,
I just need to catch my breath,
Christmas by myself this year.

Calendar picture, frozen landscape,
Chilled this room for twenty-four days,
Evergreens, sparkling snow
Get this winter over with!

Flashback to springtime, saw him again,
Would've been good to go for lunch,
Couldn't agree when we were both free,
We tried, we said we'd keep in touch.

Didn't, of course, 'til summertime,
Out to the beach to his boat could I join him?
No, this time it was me,
Sunburn in the third degree.

Now the calendar's just one page
And, of course, I am excited
Tonight's the night, but I've set my mind
Not to do too much about it.

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.

Hardly dashing through the snow
Cause I bundled up too tight
Last minute have-to-do's
A few cards a few calls
'Cause it's r-s-v-p
No thanks, no party lights
It's Christmas Eve, gonna relax
Turned down all of my invites.

Last fall I had a night to myself,
Same guy called, halloween party,
Waited all night for him to show,
This time his car wouldn't go,

Forget it, it's cold, it's getting late,
Trudge on home to celebrate
In a quiet way, unwind
Doing Christmas right this time.

A&P has provided me
With the world's smallest turkey
Already in the oven, nice and hot
Oh damn! Guess what I forgot?

So on with the boots, back out in the snow
To the only all-night grocery,
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
In the line is that guy I've been chasing all year!

"I'm spending this one alone," he said.
"Need a break; this year's been crazy."
I said, "Me too, but why are you?
You mean you forgot cranberries too?"

Then suddenly we laughed and laughed
Caught on to what was happening
That Christmas magic's brought this tale
To a very happy ending! "

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Couldn't miss this one this year!
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Couldn't miss this one this year!