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Nutty Excuse: Remember Steve Bartelstein, the crazy WABC reporter who was sued by some guy at the station for being too amorous (he only stalked him in Chicago twice!) and subsequently shitcanned for falling asleep on the job, fighting with co-workers or not showing up at all? After disappearing for seven months he spoke out this week telling Cindy Adams that he's now battling something even worse than an uninterested boy toy: testicular cancer: "Doctors say this had long been in my system. I'm not one to complain nor say anything disparaging. But it's possible my weariness at work was the result of this illness. I'd been showing extreme fatigue for a period of time. Even while I was still on-air, my mother said, 'I notice you're lethargic these days.' " Bartelstein says he's in talks for a comeback on WCBS. I give it a week before I stumble upon this one's Manhunt photos. (Talk about shooting fish in a barrel.) (NYP)

A.P. Ridicule: "During his speech at Columbia University, [Iranian President Mahmoud] Ahmadinejad said his country 'doesn't have problems with gay people because they don't have homosexuals in Iran.' Which finally explains why Ahmadinejad gets away with wearing a windbreaker from 1983." -- Conan O'Brien. Check out Kirk Caraway's interesting piece on the underappreciated power of ridicule. God knows I'm hoping it works for me. (NevadaAppeal)

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished: Augusten Burroughs kindly agreed to introduce his big brother, John Elder Robison, at book bash in Manhattan for Robison's just-released memoir about growing up with Asperger's syndrome, "Look Me in the Eye," and this is the thanks he got? ("Augusten Burroughs Hijacks Bro's Book Bash") I'm sure Robison -- not to mention his handlers -- was thrilled by the added attention it brought (not to mention Aspergians sometimes need a little help staying on track when speaking in public) . Claire Boothe Luce was so right. (Radar)

TransRights: Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi issued a statement saying she would postpone advancing the latest version of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act that includes protections for gays and lesbians but excludes transgender people. The bill was scheduled for markup in committee on Tuesday, at which point it would have been sent to the House floor for a vote. The move was a nod to a critical mass of LGBT activists who came forward to adamantly oppose passing a version of ENDA that lacks transgender-inclusive language. (Advocate)

(Eric) Winter Wonderland: Remind me again: why aren't I watching "Brothers & Sisters"? How I've loved this kid, remember? (OhLaLa)

It's a Girl Thing: Girlports, the first travel information Webs ite exclusively for lesbians and bisexual women, is now up and running. The site provides lesbian-centric listings for destinations around the world with everything from bars and nightclubs to social and sporting groups, restaurants and more. (Girlports)

Killers for Hire: So we now have confirmation that employees of Blackwater USA have engaged in nearly 200 shootings in Iraq since 2005, in a vast majority of cases firing their weapons from moving vehicles without stopping to count the dead or assist the wounded. But with such a disproportionate number of mercenaries fighting this "war" will they ever be held to account? (NYT)

Must-See TV? I missed the premiere of "Aliens in America" but heard it was fantastic. Anyone see it? (NYT)

Bring on the 9/12 Candidates: Hey, Rudy -- didya hear? 9/11 is over. (ThomasFriedman)

Tucker Carlson Flashback: A Georgetown University sophomore identified through his Facebook profile has been charged in last month's homophobic beating of a fellow student in Washington, D.C. Police recommended that Phillip Anderton Cooney, 19, of Southlake, Texas, who is is the son of fallen Bush aide and American Petroleum Institute oil lobbyist Phil Cooney. receive a hate-crime enhancement in the Sept. 9 attack near campus, in which the victim sustained facial injuries and a broken thumb. (Pam'sHouseBlend)

LOL!!! Mark Foley: the anti-GOP gift that keeps giving. (PalmBeachPost)

Platform of Exclusion: Is Fred Thompson the scariest-looking mofo ever? (Queerty)