Friday, October 26, 2007

Confessions of a Blogger

The Notorious J*O*E tagged me for this one, so here goes nothing. If you're not careful you might even learn something new about me:

  1. Taken a picture completely naked? Yes
  2. Made out with a friend on your MySpace/Facebook page? No
  3. Danced in front of your mirror naked? Sure (it wasn't pretty)
  4. Told a lie? Sure
  5. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? Once or twice
  6. Been arrested? No, although my prank call shenanigans in junior high got some housewives in the neighborhood a visit from the cops
  7. Made out with someone of the same sex? Does a cow moo?
  8. Seen someone die? No
  9. Slept in until 5pm? Yes
  10. Had sex at work? Which job?
  11. Fallen asleep at work/school? Never
  12. Held a snake? No, and I'm terrified of them so would like to keep it that way.
  13. Ran a red light? Yes
  14. Been suspended from school? No, although some kid's mom tried to stick her 2 cents into an argument I was having with the women in the school bookstore the summer before I started 11th grade and I told the mom to "Stay out of this, hon" and they dragged me into the vice principal's office. (Mrs. Caldwell thought what I'd done was hilarious and said she expected to see my name in lights someday.)
  15. Totaled your car in an accident? No. Just two fender-benders
  16. Pole danced? No
  17. Smoked? No, and I think it's a filthy and disgusting habit
  18. Been fired from a job? Yes, but it was a classic case of reverse brown-tooth discrimination. My co-worker had a brown tooth and I made fun of it so I got fired? Didn't make sense then, doesn't make sense now. He should have been fired for putting me in the position of having to make fun of him.
  19. Sang karaoke? Yes, in Chinatown. They even "cut me off" when I requested my umpteenth song of the evening. My solo of "Superstar" was a hit, though.
  20. Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Does this count?
  21. Laughed until a drink came out your nose? Isn't that the point of life?
  22. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? No
  23. Kissed in the rain? Does laughter in the rain with the one I love count?
  24. Sang in the shower? Not as often as you'd probably think
  25. Given your private parts a nickname? No
  26. Ever gone out without underwear? If necessary
  27. Sat on a roof top? Yes
  28. Played chicken? No
  29. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Yes, by Tammy Nicholas in junior high. She was exacting revenge on me for tricking her into thinking she'd won $500 on a radio quiz show with one of my famous prank phone calls (see No. 6)
  30. Broken a bone? Never
  31. Mooned/flashed someone? No
  32. Shaved your head? No
  33. Slept naked? No. I find it very uncomfortable.
  34. Played a prank on someone? Usually
  35. Had a gym membership? Yes
  36. Felt like killing someone? Yes, and sometimes I think I have and suppressed it.
  37. Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? Not as often as I've tried.
  38. Cried over someone you were in love with? Often
  39. Had sex more than 10 times in one day? No
  40. Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? No
  41. Been in a band? Yes. Back in 1983, and we were called A La Plage (a product of high school French). Wanna hear our "hit" singles "(She Was) Kidnapped at the Bowling Ally" or "Neck Brace"? Click here.
  42. Subscribed to Maxim? No, but Instinct, yes
  43. Taken more than 10 shots of alcohol? No
  44. Shot a gun? No, and the one time I saw a gun in real life (at an orphan Christmas dinner at a neighbor's apartment on South Bundy Drive in 1991) I left the place immediately and did not return.
  45. Had sex today? No
  46. Played strip poker? No
  47. Tripped on mushrooms? No
  48. Donated Blood? I'm not allowed to
  49. Video taped yourself having sex? No
  50. Eaten alligator meat? No
  51. Ever jump out of an airplane? No, but it seems fun..
  52. Have you been to more than 10 countries? Probably just under.
  53. Ever wanted to have sex with a platonic friend? No

Additional questions that the next people will have to add:
  1. Have you ever shaved yourself bare? No
  2. Have you ever dressed in drag? No
  3. If you could be one celebrity for a week, who would it be? Kristy McNichol, since I was mistaken for her so many times as a child.


thesouthender said...

We wanna know about all the pranks you've pulled!! As a semi-professional prankster, I want to see what you've got. My curiosity has been piqued.

joe*to*hell said...

my god - i am SO sorry to tag you. its jut that, well, i like your blog and i wanted suport since I had to do it myself....

ps - a la plage is GENIOUS

Steve Reed said...

"Stay out of this, hon!"


Unknown said...


The OFFICIAL larry fan club