Page 1 Consider (08/08)

The Brady Bunch: After dicking his new bosses around for the past two weeks, hunky QB Brady Quinn finally signs his contact with the Cleveland Browns worth bunches of money. (AP)

Shadows and Fog: First Mia Farrow surrendered her career so her daughter could have a father lover. Now she's willing to give up her freedom for some sick prisoner in the Sudan? (celebitchy)

Dr. Dixon Ticonderoga Presiding: A woman who had a pencil lodged in her head for 55 years after a childhood accident has finally had most of it removed, which should end her chronic headaches and nosebleeds, her doctor said Tuesday. Margaret Wegner was 4 when she fell while carrying the 3.15-inch pencil, which went through her cheek and into her brain. At the time, the technology did not exist to safely remove the pencil. On the downside, Wegner will no longer be constantly prepared for standardized tests. (AP)

Ruling Could Impact HIV Patients: Terminally ill patients do not have a constitutional right to be treated with experimental drugs, even if the medicine is not likely to be approved before they are dead, a divided federal appeals court said Tuesday. (AP)

Drop and Give Me 20: Florida State Rep Bob "Family Values" Allen isn't satisfied just being branded a hypocrite after getting caught cruising a public restroom and offering to perform oral sex upon an undercover officer for $20. Now he wants everyone to know he's a racist hypocrite. (Rod2.0)

Homo 101: How frightening to think what people who don't know "out" gay people think about us when everything they gather is from movies and television. My list-obsessed friends have the gory details. (AfterElton)

Needling Him: Barry Bonds broke Hank Aaron's home run record proving that steroids work -- really well. (NYT)